


Our story can never be over

by SweetieR



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Epic Bromance, Epic Love, F/M, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2020-10-25 23:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 29,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20732711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetieR/pseuds/SweetieR
Summary: [SEQUEL TO NEVER TO BE FORGOTTEN] : Arthur and Gwen are now parents and happy, but will it last ? Or will the return of a very resentful Lancelot break them apart ?  Can they live their hapy ending? Merlin is with Freya, now, but are his feelings for Morgana really gone? What happens when she comes back for good, ready to settle? Between love, friendship and heartbreak...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi my friends, 
> 
> This is the sequel from my previous story "never to be forgotten", I hope you'll like it as much ! Thank you all for everything. xxx

**Chapter 1 : **

**5 years after the events of "Never to be fogotten".**

In a Victorian house of the center of London, a young woman was in her kitchen, looking worriedly over all the food on the table, when two strong arms settled around her waist and she sighed, leaning into the hold of the man she deeply loved.

"Everything will be fine, my love..." he breathed and she closed her eyes, burying herself further into his arms.

"I want it to be _perfect_, Arthur." she pouted and he chuckled, "This is Nicholas' fifth birthday. it's important."

Arthur laid a kiss on her neck, humming happily.

"Can you believe that he is already five?" he whispered in awe and she smiled, turning around in his arms to face his mezmering blue eyes, looking lovingly at her.

Guinevere cupped his cheek and smiled, eyes shinning with love.

"I can hardly believe how lucky I am..." she breathed and he smiled this crooked smile she loved, before leaning in and kissing her lovingly.

"Ew!" screamed a voice and they both jumped apart, finding a very amused Merlin carrying his godson in his arms, said Godson who was frowning at his parents. "That's disgusting!" he said again and Merlin laughed,

"That's what I keep telling them..."

"Oh shut the fuck up, _Mer_lin!"

"Arthur. Language." nudged him Gwen and he actually looked sheepish about it, before Nicholas got down from Merlin's arms and ran to his father,

"Are you happy, my boy?" asked Arthur and Nicholas beamed and then hugged his father.

"It's my birthday." he said, receding.

"We know that, darling." answered Gwen, stroking his blond soft curls.

"That means I can ask for anything, can't I?"

"Of course." answered Merlin and he laughed when Arthur glared at him.

"What do you want, Nick?" asked his father and the boy looked shy suddenly.

"Come on, you can tell us anything."

All three adults looked curious about the sudden shyness of this boy who had taken so much after his father in terms of caracter, always feeling at ease with people.

"Iwantalittlesisterplease." he mumbled quickly but nobody understood a word.

"Nicholas," said firmly Arthur, "What did we say about speaking clearly?"

Nick nodded and then his innocent blue eyes looked at his parents.

"I want a little sister, please."

And then,

Merlin burst out laughing quite loudly, Arthur paled and his eyes widened while Guinevere choked slightly.

"God, I love this kid !" only laughed Merlin, earning another glare from his bestfriend.

Arthur cleared his throat and took a chance to look at his wife, but she had looked down, cheeks pink.

He would lie if he said he had not thought about having another child with his Guinevere..

After all, their life was perfect at last, and they were doing a great job with raising Nicholas, so why not add another member to their family?

But he had not exactly talked about it with Gwen, and he didn't know where she was standing on the matter ..

But now was not the time to think about that.

So he cleared his throat again and looked at his son who was looking hopefully at them.

"Well... Nick, the thing is... you see..."

"Where's my favourite nephew?" came a female voice, saving them and they all turned to find Morgana looking at them, amused and Arthur deduced that she had heard the previous talk.

"Auntie Morgana!" screamed the boy and he wriggled out of his father's arms to run into the arms of his aunt.

Morgana laughed and then caught the boy, hugging him tightly against her.

"I've missed you, little one!""

"And I you!"

Morgana was still being Morgana.

She could spend months in town, and then leave for a few months.

But if she used to leave without giving news, now she always sent cards and pictures, phonecalls and texts to Nicholas, they were basically inseparable.

And Arthur's heart warmed to see them so close.

He then laid an arm around Gwen's shoulders and brought her close to him.

When he looked down, though, he saw she was frowning slightly at something and he followed her eyes, and then stopped.

Because Merlin was looking at Morgana.

But he wasn't just looking.

His eyes were a mixture of tenderness and longing.

Something he _used _to see ( years ago) in his bestfriend's eyes whenever he caught him looking at his sister...

Something he had not seen in a very long time.

But no, it couldn't be.

Merlin had been with Freya for over five years now, they had bought a flat together, adopted a cat _and_ they were engaged.

He was happy, Arthur was sure of it.

But then what about this look?

"Do you want to see what I've got for you?" said Morgana and Nick nodded happily, and then turned around to his parents,

"Can I?"

"Of course." smiled Gwen,

"We're glad to have you back, Morgana." said Arthur and she gave him a bright smile.

"And I am glad to be home."

And then she left, but not without giving Merlin a look that Arthur could not quite read...

WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON!

Merlin then looked at them, and he had resumed himself for he winked and then said,

"I think you two have a lot to speak about." he laughed. "Think about Nick's wish!"

And then he left.

"_Idiot_." muttered Arthur and Guinevere laughed slightly.

He then took a deep breath and looked at his wife, brown eyes met blue and he took her hand.

Gwen couldn't help but look at him, he looked so open and so happy...

She would never have thought it possible some years ago.

"You know," he started and now his cheeks were colouring slightly. "It's not like I haven't been thinking about it..."

Her heart stopped.

"You have?" she breathed.

Arthur nodded, then bit his bottom lip and brought her closer to him.

"I love you, Guinevere." she melted at that, like she always did. "And that means that I want to have as many babies with you as possible." she laughed at that and circled his neck, while he laughed too.

"How many, Pendragon?" she smirked and he leant in, nuzzled his nose with hers.

"Let's say... Ten."

"Ten? that's an awful lot." she breathed and they were so close she felt his breathing on her lips.

He smiled and she could see his eyes fall on her lips, before back on her eyes.

"So, what do you say, Guinevere?"

She closed her eyes and leant in, kissing him tenderly.

"I say that I want at least ten children with you, too." she chuckled and then Arthur's eyes widened and he receded a little,

"You're serious?" he asked and she nodded, eyes shining with tears. "You really want to do this?"

"I am, Arthur. Oh god, I am! I have been thinking about it, too and-"

But she couldn't end her sentence because Arthur had cupped her cheeks and was kissing her like tomorrow wouldn't exist.

* * *

When he came back to the main room, a couple of minutes later, he found Morgana and Merlin with Nicholas while he was talking very seriously to the both of them.

He leant on the door and watched them, a small smile on his face.

"They look quite cosy, don't they?" cut a voice and he looked up, found one of his oldest friends and smiled.

"Hi, Mithian."

The woman smiled and then sipped her glass,

"Gosh, this boy is cute." Arthur laughed. "He's gonna break some hearts..."

"Just like his father did before him." added Arthur and she rolled her eyes, slapped his arm and he 'oofed'.

"You're a prat, Arthur Pendragon." is all that she said before walking away in a smile and he smiled too, seeing her walk to her husband.

But then his attention fall on his son again and warmth settled on his heart.

He was so happy...

He loved his wife and his son more than anything in this world, and he truly believed that he could not be happier.

Life was perfect.

He glimpsed Guinevere speaking with Mithian and smiled again, she was still jealous at time but it had somehow ended when Mithian had started dating their friend Leon ( and that was a surprise) and then eventually married him.

Arthur chuckled, shaking his head.

And then his eyes fall on Merlin and Morgana again.

They were carefully avoiding looking at each other and _that _made Arthur frowned.

Because since that time at the airport, more than five years ago ( and he still remembered the pain as if it had happened yesterday, the fear of losing Guinevere...) they had made peace and was actually good friends.

So what the hell was going on?!

He walked closer to them, well decided to learn the truth and Morgana was playing with Nick when he arrived.

"Daddy! I'm winning!"

"No you're not, little pumpkin..." said Morgana, tickling the boy and he laughed happily.

Arthur chuckled and leant in to kiss his boy's head tenderly.

"Don't listen to your auntie Morgana, she's a sore loser."

Morgana laughed and slapped his arm,

"Am not!"

Nicholas laughed and then Arthur turned around and saw once again the look on Merlin's face.

Longing again.

Ok.

Enough was enough.

"Merlin, can I talk to you for a second?"

The man jumped and then blushed.

Busted.

"Right now?"

"Right now."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

"But..."

"_Mer_lin."

The man sighed and then got up.

"Can we talk here?"

"Absolutely not. The kitchen."

And then he left without letting him time to answer.

Once in the kitchen, Merlin came in and Arthur could see he looked actually worried.

"Arthur-"

"What's going on with my sister?" Merlin paled suddenly and Arthur realized he had been right, something was wrong. "What's going on with her, Merlin?"

A silence.

The dark-haired man opened the mouth once,twice.

And then it was out.

"I may have kissed Morgana again two days ago." he finally admitted.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Arthur's eyes couldn't get any wide and Merlin's ears any more red.

"You did _what_?" asked the blond man again.

"Arthur..."

"But when? How? What? And-"

"Can you _please_ let me try to explain?" finally cut him Merlin and Arthur was about to add something, but the look on his bestfriend's face stopped him, and so he nodded. "Thanks." Merlin took a deep breath and then ran a tired hand over his face before clearing his throat. "I don't know what happened, Arthur. I thought I was over her. I really did, you know that." and now he seemed almost pleading and Arthur felt bad for him.

"I know. But what happened to make you question that?"

Merlin started pacing,

"She called me a week ago, because she wanted to come back for Nicholas' birthday but she wanted it to be a surprise so she couldn't crash at your house, but she called because she didn't want me to ruin the surprise. Freya heard the conversation, offered her to sleep at the flat..." he closed his eyes, chuckling bitterly. "My darling, sweet Freya." he shook his head, "But then she left, she had this conference in Seattle, she will only be home Saturday and that's also why she isn't here today."

"Merlin, you're getting away of the point."

"Hardly. I'm getting there. So, Morgana and I were alone and at first it was fine, friendly evening together, nothing out of normal..."

"Then what the hell happened?"

"I don't _know_!" scream-shouted Merlin, "I don't ! All that I know is that one moment we're talking and laughing as usual, and then I'm kissing her because she looks so damn beautiful and I can't help my fucking stupid self!"

A small silence settled on the room.

"Bloody hell, Merlin."

"I know."

"What will you do?"

"I ... don't know."

Arthur huffed,

"And Freya?"

"She doesn't know. It would kill her. You know how afraid she is of my relationship with Morgana..."

Arthur nodded, serious suddenly.

Because he actually knew how much Freya had been afraid at first to lose Merlin to Morgana.

He knew it was still one of her deepest fears, to watch him leave her because he couldn't love her enough.

"Merlin..."

"Please. Don't you think I feel bad enough?"

"Sorry." apologized Arthur, because he knew his bestfriend, and the situation was surely killing him.

"What do I do now, Arthur?"

Another silence.

"Do you love Freya?"

"Of course I do!"

"Do you still have feelings for Morgana?"

A silence, again.

"Merlin?"

He opened the mouth, then closed it.

"I... I don't know."

But his eyes were telling another story.

So Arthur took a deep breath and then clasped Merlin's shoulder.

"You've got to talk with Morgana. Figure out what you feel, what that kiss meant to you _and _to her. Merlin, you know I speak for experience when I say that no matter how hard it is, no matter how fucked up is the timing... There is nothing more important than to share your life with the woman that you _truly_ love."

Merlin looked down, and his voice was broken when he spoke again.

"I know."

Arthur looked at him sadly, because he knew what it felt like when life kept making fun of you.

He was about to add something, when Nicholas came into the kitchen and jumped on his father,

"Daddy! Where have you been ?!" but he didn't even let him time to answer, clutching at his hand and bringing him with him back in the living room," it's time for the cake!"

Arthur chuckled and followed his son to the living room, where Guinevere was lighting the candles and Nick was jumping everywhere,

"There is five candles!"

"There _are_, sweetheart." corrected him Gwen and Arthur's heart warmed, like it always did and the two of them were together.

His family.

Gwen caught his eyes and smiled lovingly at him, and he knew she was feeling the same exactly.

"Come on, my boy. Time to sing!"

* * *

Freya smiled when she got in front of the door, it was only 6 and luckily, she would still be on time.

That way, she got to surprise both Nicholas and Merlin.

She smiled to herself, it had not been easy to leave her alone with Morgana, but she trusted him and she trusted his feelings for her.

She stroked the ring on her finger and smiled again,

Everything would be fine.

* * *

They had just finished eating the cake when the door rang and Guinevere frowned slightly,

"Are we expecting someone?"

Arthur shook his head, frowning slightly before getting up and kissing his wife's curls.

"Don't worry, my love, I've got it."

She smiled and squeezed his hand before he walked to the door.

"Coming!" he shouted to the person and then, he opened the door and his eyes widened.

_Bloody hell._

"Arthur!" smiled the woman and he forced hismelf to snap out and hugged her quickly.

"Freya! How are you here? I thought you wouldn't be back before sunday?"

She smiled again before saying,

"I made arrangements so I wouldn't miss Nick's birthday!"

"He will be delighted."

And sure enough, a small voice cut them...

"Auntie Freya!" screamed the boy before running to her arms and she laughed, hugging him tightly to her.

"Happy birthday, honey!"

"Freya?" called another voice and Arthur looked up to find his bestfriend looking slightly paler, but Freya didn't notice and she walked to him before pecking his lips quickly.

"Surprise." she smiled but Merlin didn't move.

Arthur waved at him to do something behind Freya's back and that seemed to wake up his bestfriend, who hugged his fiancée.

"I am so happy to see you." he said, and she chuckled.

In the corner of the room, Arthur saw Morgana escaped upstairs...

He sighed.

This was about to get complicated.

* * *

Merlin's heart stopped in his chest.

That he had not planned.

He thought he would have more time...

"Aren't you hapy to see me?" asked Freya and he looked at her, she was frowning.

"Of course I am!" he exclaimed but she wa still frowning at him, like she was trying to figure him out and this was getting upsetting.

"You seem off..."

Merlin took a deep breath and then leant in very seriously, before opening the mouth and he could see Freya's eyes were worried suddenly.

"Don't tell Arthur and Gwen, but their boy is killing me."

And Freya let out a loud laugh, before swapping his chest.

"You're an idiot."

He smiled.

"Guilty as charged." then he saw she was about to say something, but he actually cut her. "Come, my love. The other are waiting."

She nodded, smiling.

* * *

The door rang again and now, Arthur could hear his wife's chuckle.

"Good God, is it ever going to stop?"

"On my way, my love." only said Arthur and she thanked him, before squeezing his hand as he walked to the door.

Arthur opened it and smiled.

"Arthur!"

"Hi, dad."

"Where is my champion?"

"In the living room, he will be thrilled to see you here..."

Uther smiled and then stopped by his son's side,

"Can I borrow him for a minute? I do have a surprise for my favourite grandson's birthday."

Arthur raised an eyebrow, amused.

"Of course."

And then Uther clasped his shoulder affectionately and then walked into the room, screaming Nicholas' name and when Arthur heard the scream of delight coming from his son, he smiled and then stopped at the start of the room.

Nick had jumped into his great-father's arms and it was still so weird to Arthur, seeing his father acting this way around a child..

"Daddy, Grandpa is taking me to a surprise!" screamed his boy as they walked pass him to leave the house.

"I know my boy, are you excited?" Gwen joined them and Arthur linked an arm around her shoulders as she kissed Nick's curls.

"Mommy, I've got another surprise!"

"I know, my darling." then she smiled at Uther, who smiled back warmly.

"I think I better take this one to see his surprise..." then murmured Uther and the boy jumped shouted his hapiness.

And then they left, leaving Arthur and Gwen, snuggling. Gwen cuddled against her husband's chest and let out a content sigh.

"I love you, so much." she murmured against his chest and he felt his heart beat so fast in his chest, even now so many years after he first met her.

"And I, you." he whispered and she snuggled deeper.

But then, Arthur saw Morgana coming back from wherever in heir house she was, and he didn't miss the small face she made when she saw Merlin and Freya whispering to each other.

He frowned.

And then receded quite violently from Guinevere, taking her hand and leading her to somewhere a bit more private.

"Arthur! What the bloody hell are you doing?!" screamed Gwen and he hushed her before making her come into their bedroom, he locked the door and when he turned around, she was glaring at him. "Do I need to remind you of the guests?"

His eyes widened.

"What?"

"I know we said we would try, Arthur. But there is no way in hell for me to have sex with you when our house is full _and _on our son's birthday no less!"

And then he couldn't help it.

He burst out of laughters and she frowned slightly.

"Why are you laughing?"

Arthur shook his head tenderly and grabbed her hand, bringing her close to him in order to steal a kiss from her.

"My darling Guinevere..."

"I still fail to see your point."

She was getting annoyed and God if that was hot! Arthur shook his head and tried to stay focus.

"Look, if I tell you something, you swear to keep it for yourself, right?" Gwen raised an eyebrow and he chuckled again, softly. "Right." he took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair. "Well..."

"Just say it, Arthur." she said, "You're making me jumpy. Plus, Nicholas must be searching for us, right now."

Arthur nodded, and then took another deep breath.

"Merlin kissed Morgana."

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Gwen and he hurried to hush her, but her eyes were still wide. "But when? Why? _What_?"

Arthur chuckled.

"I reacted quite the same way..." he sighed. "The other night, they were alone and it just happened."

"But... what about Freya?"

"Merlin doesn't know."

"And Morgana?"

Arthur sighed.

"He doesn't know." but his voice trailed off and Gwen raised an eyebrow before cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look at her.

"I know you too well, Arthur Pendragon. Do tell me what's going on in that pretty head of yours."

Arthur sighed.

"You know that I love Freya. She's like a sister to me." Gwen nodded, "But I know Merlin, we've grown up together, we've lived together and we've always had each other's back. We're like two sides of the same coin... I know him and I do know that even if he tried to bury his feelings for Morgana, I think they were bound to come out at a moment... "

Gwen's eyes widened.

"I really think that he's still in love with her." ended Arthur.

What they didn't see was the emerald-eyed woman listening at the door, eyes wide and heart beating fast.

She had let Merlin go once before and it had been the biggest mistake of her all life...

When she realized that, it was already too late and she ( of all people) had told him to move on with that nurse of his.

But she knew Merlin and she were meant to end up together.

And this time?

Well, this time she wouldn't do things the same way...

This time...

She would fight for him.

Morgana took a deep breath and straightened, eyes resolute.

She would get Merlin back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 :**

Arthur was in his office, working when someone knocked at the door and he looked up, couldn't help the smile when he saw _who _was there. He got up and walked to the woman,

"My love." he breathed, an arm reaching for her waist and drawing her to him.

She chuckled and buried her hands in his hair,

"My Prince."

He smiled and then leant in, kissing this woman he didn't think he could love more, yet with whom he fall in love with all over again every day.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?"

She snuggled against his chest.

"Nothing, really."

"Bad day at work?"

She nodded.

"Lancelot is being a jerk."

Arthur froze.

Lancelot had come back to school on the beginning of the year after leaving town for 5 years and Arthur suspected that he was making Gwen's life a living hell ever since.

But when _he _had come to school to clarify things with him, the coward had the balls to tell him he had moved on and wasn't angry at Guinevere anymore.

"Arthur?"

"I'm fine." he breathed, holding her closer. "What did he do?"

She sighed again.

"You know that Principal Lewis is leaving at the end of the semester?"

Arthur nodded, he knew that Guinevere was told to be the next Principal and that it was making her so happy.

"You'll be a great Principal, my love."

She shook her head, looking down.

"He is trying to talk her out of it."

He froze.

And then took a step back, blue eyes dark with anger.

"What?"

"Alice came and told me that she heard him try to make Principal Lewis see that I was not the one for this job..."

"I'm gonna kill him."

"Arthur-"

"He's already been a pain in the ass for too long!"

"I know, but-"

"No. This time, he has gone too far..."

"I've hurt him and-"

"5 bloody years ago, Guinevere!" he screamed and his heart squeezed to think that even after all theses years, that bastard was still a reason for them to argue.

She cupped his cheeks and at first he was still so cold, but she went on tiptoes and pecked his lips tenderly.

Guinevere knew how much Arthur hated Lancelot and how upset he was that she was still working with him...

But he needed to understand that there was no reason to be worried.

"It's going to be fine, Arthur. I'll talk to Principal Lewis, she is a smart woman. I'll explain the situation." His jaw was so tensed. "Please, don't go to Lancelot."

"I don't see why not." he finally muttered and she smiled softly because she knew she had won for this time.

"Thank you, honey."

Arthur took a deep breath and brought her back to him.

"Fine... Bloody hell, woman."

She laughed and buried herself in his arms.

Knowing everything would be alright.

Because no matter what,

She was where she belonged.

* * *

Morgana was at Merlin's to take her stuff because she was about to settle at Arthur's , she was lost in her thoughts and didn't realize someone was there until she turned around, freezing.

Because Merlin was there.

He was at the entrance of the door, looking at her with an unreadable stare and she felt herself blush.

He had changed so much in 5 years...

Oh, he was still the same clumsy, optimistic and smiling guy she fell in love with.

But there was something more... _masculine_ about him.

Somehow he was all that he was but still was more... intense.

And that was driving her crazy.

She shook her head, trying to forget about all the things she wanted him to do with her, and tried a smile.

They had not talked since the kiss.

Bloody wonderful kiss at that.

"Hi..." she tried, but her voice broke when he took a step closer to her and now, his scent was everywhere around her and all she wanted to do was curl up to his chest and never leave.

But his chest wasn't hers.

He wasn't hers.

"You're leaving." he only said after a few minutes, and she nodded.

And God, she felt like a schoolgirl in front of him.

When did the tables turned?

When had she become the one that was so affected by his presence she couldn't talk?

When had he taken the power in their relationship?

And why did she like it so much?

"I'm going to Arthur's." she said, trying to straighten up and then their eyes met.

Emerald eyes met blue and he took another step to her.

She wanted to take one back but her knees were against the bed and she was stucked.

Oh God.

Somebody helped her...

"Is it because of the kiss?" he breathed and he was so close to her.

Too close.

Much too close.

She looked down and tried to find her senses, but then she felt his finger tenderly cupped her chin and tilted it, so that their eyes met again.

Oh shit.

* * *

Guinevere came into the school and took a deep breath, seeing Arthur had made her feel better ( it always did) and now she was sure of herself, sure she could overcome any obstacles thrown her way.

She could do this.

"Guinevere.." said a voice and she frowned, turning around to find Lancelot glaring at her.

She knew he was still hurt over the fact that she had chosen Arthur, and that they were a happy family.

"Gwen, to you."

He chuckled darkly.

"Right. Only _one person _gets to call you Guinevere without problem..."

"That's not of your bloody business, Lancelot."

She was about to leave but he caught her arm and she gasped,

"Let go of me."

"What did you do to me?" he asked, eyes dark and she had to admit he was scarring her a little. "Why can't I move on from you? It's been 5 years. I left. I should be over you. What did you do?"

"Lancelot, let go of my arms. _Right now._"

They glared at each other for a few seconds, before he laughed as if nothing happened.

"You know, you can't have everything, Gwen."

She frowned.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Enjoy your perfect life while it lasts is all I mean."

"What?" her heart stopped. "Lancelot, what is that supposed to mean?"

But he didn't answer, just left on another direction.

Gwen let out a breath she didn't know she was holding and leant on the wall, trying to compose herself.

Everything would be fine.

* * *

Merlin didn't know what he was doing.

Hell, what was he doing?

All he knew was that he had came home for lunch and he had heard noises upstairs and then she was there, more beautiful than ever and he had been on night watch at the hospital so he was quite exhausted and she was there and ... he couldn't help himself.

"_Merlin_..." she breathed and he felt her breath on his lips, had them tingle with anticipation. "I should go..."

He couldn't do that.

He couldn't kiss her.

It was wrong...

It was...

He had not noticed he had leant in until it was too late and their lips were inches apart.

"God, what have you done to me?" he whispered and she only leant a bit more into him.

And then he kissed her.

She gasped and he deepened the kiss.

Soon, Morgana's hands came circling his neck and he brought her even closer to him, kissing her like he wanted to devour her.

But soon it was not enough.

He wanted more.

He needed more.

Always.

So before he could think about it, he pushed her slightly and they soon found themselves on the bed, him between her legs and sharing shameless kisses and touch...

It had been too long..

A part of his brain screamed at him that it was wrong, that he couldn't do that to Freya...

That he was engaged.

But the other part of him.

God, he couldn't shut this part out.

And it was shouted at him to enjoy the present and to make this woman his again.

That she was his and he needed to show her that.

No matter the consequences.

"Merlin..." she breathed as he laid open-mouthed kiss on her neck and she moaned, brought a hand to the back of his neck while arching and he groaned, pushed against her more. "We shouldn't-" he kissed her to shut her up, but she pushed him slightly and he could see the doubt in her beautiful eyes.

"You're engaged." she breathed and he stopped for a few seconds. "I don't want you to regret this... _me._"

(what a stupid thing to say. How could he regret her? How could he when every cells of him was craving her?)

She was breathing heavily and he was quite breathless himself.

But it was still time to stop.

They still haven't crossed that line.

Except that...

He didn't want to stop.

He knew he was probably making a mistake.

But hell with it all,

This felt _right_.

"Shut up, Morgana." is all that he said before his lips found hers again.

She seemed to hesitate for a few seconds, but then kissed him back.

Sho was finding out that she loved him bossy.

* * *

Later that day, Guinevere came home and just before walking through the door, she took a deep breath and tried to scholl her figure, because she knew Arthur was able to read her like a book, and she didn't want him to know she was troubled.

Because she loved her husband, and she loved that he was so protective of her...

But there is no telling what he would do if he learnt of the way Lancelot was treating her.

So she took a deep breath and then walked in.

"I'm home!" she said and then heard some noises in the living room, and she smiled when she recognized the voices of the two persons she loved above everything else.

"You cheated, daddy."

"Impossible."

"Of course you did." pouted the boy.

Guinevere smiled brightly and leant on the doorframe, watching the two men of her life playing Monopoly.

"I would never do that."

"Auntie Morgana says you're the worst cheater in the whole world and that I should never trust you."

"She said that, huh?" And Gwen chuckled at the tone, making them both aware of her presence.

"Mummy!" screamed the boy and he ran to her, she caught him into her arms and hugged him tightly against her.

That's what she needed.

"Daddy is cheating." said Nicholas, receding from her and she took a serious face.

"Is he, now?"

"Nope." smiled Arthur.

She smiled as she glimpsed the former prat in her husband.

"You know what, I'm the judge, right?" Nick nodded. "Fine. I decide that you've won."

"YEAH!" screamed the boy and she laughed, before Arthur pretended to be crushed by the news.

"But now, little man, you need to wash up your hands, dinner will be ready in no time..."

"Yes, mum!" he said and she let him on the ground, watching him run in the kitchen.

"Is everything alright, my love?" breathed a voice and she felt two strong and warm arms settle around her.

She closed her eyes and just enjoyed.

"Guinevere?" he asked again, and then made her turn in his arms and she froze when she realized he was studying her.

She couldn't do that.

She couldn't let him know.

Oh God.

"I'm fine, honey." she lied and then kissed his cheek and hurried to join their son.

She had to keep in mind that being this close to Arthur was perhaps not a good idea, if she wanted to keep him out of her troubles...

* * *

When Morgana woke up, she woke up to the feeling of something warm surrounding her and when she finally opened the eyes, she froze.

Oh God.

Because this had not been a dream ( wonderful dream) but it had happened.

She had slep with Merlin.

"Oh shit." she mouthed.

But then she realized he was spooning her, his face in the crook of her neck, his soft breath warming her skin and making it tingle; an arm around her waist, holding her close and her heart melted. She turned around in his arms carefully, in order not to wake him up, and she traced his handsome figure tenderly.

"Oh God..." she breathed. "What have you done to me, Merlin Emrys? What is it with you that I can't live without?" she sighed and leant in, kissing him softly on the mouth, trying not to wake him in the process.

She then started to move from his embrace ( even if she didn't want to) and he groaned slightly but didn't open his eyes.

Morgana looked at him for some more seconds ( he had worked up, his chest was definitively more muscular, not that she was complaining) and then she felt her heart break as she turned around and started getting dressed again. Once done, she took her bags and was about to leave when...

"You're really about to leave without a word?" he said and she froze where she was,

Before turning around...

To him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4:**

She took a deep breath and then actually felt frustration invade her.

How could he say that?

Did he not realize the mistake they had made?

"And what would you want me to say, Merlin?"

He frowned and then sat on the bed, before reaching out for his boxer and put them on, then walked to her and she froze, gripped her bag tighter to prevent her from doing something stupid.

Like jump on him.

"You could have said something."

"Oh yeah," she said sarcastically. "I can picture it very well... _Look Merlin, thank you for what happened , it was amazing. But now I'm realizing that you are still engaged, that Freya is someone amazing and that I am an utter bitch! _No, thank you."

His eyes softened.

"You're not a bitch, Morgana. Far from it..."

She looked down and could feel tears pricked at the back of her eyes.

"We shouldn't have. I should have stopped you."

She heard him sigh and took a deep breath before he tilted her head and there was a storm brewing in his blue eyes as he looked at her tenderly.

"You couldn't have stopped me." he admitted and she blushed slightly while he stroked her skin.

"Merlin..." she breathed and they were so close suddenly. "What is this?"

He sighed and let go of her chin, before taking a step back and she felt cold suddenly.

"I don't know." he ran a hand through his hair. "I really don't."

She looked down, heart squeezing.

"You're still engaged."

"I know."

"And you love Freya."

"I do."

She nodded, trying not to let how affected she was show.

"But I can't let you go, Morgana..." he murmured and she froze, he heart beat so fast in her chest that she felt dizzy.

And then she looked up.

* * *

"You look troubled, my love." only said Arthur when she climbed into their bed much later and her heart stopped.

She wanted to tell him...

She wanted to tell him how scared she had been by Lancelot.

But he was so happy lately and she didn't want to ruin that by talking about her problems.

She was an adult and she would solve her problem like one.

"I am fine, Arthur." she answered and then snuggled against his chest. "Just tired..."

He hummed against her hair.

"You promise you would tell me, if something was wrong?"

She bit her lip and held him closer.

"Of course."

And when had she started to lie to her husband?

* * *

"Merlin..." she breathed and he opened the mouth but then closed it. She took a deep breath and straighten her clothes, "I should go."

He nodded, and tried a smile.

He was so utterly lost.

So utterly lost…

"Morgana..." he tried but she cut him, with a soft smile.

"I don't think now is the moment, Merlin."

He nodded.

And then she left.

And it took him a minute…

A minute to realize what he just did.

"Oh bloody hell." he whispered, letting himself fall on the bed and burying his face into his hands.

What did he do?

(Why did he want to do it again?)

* * *

Arthur's phone buzzed and he frowned, felt Guinevere moved in his arms and he had thought she would be asleep by now, but she looked up, worried.

"Are you expecting a call?" she asked and he saw the hidden jealousy in her eyes.

Arthur chuckled and kissed her curls tenderly.

"It's the other woman of my life, actually..."

"Who's that?!" she exclaimed but then she caught his eyes and blushed, "You foolish prat."

He laughed and took his phone, ready to take the call.

"You're hanging out with Merlin way too much." he muttered.

She laughed, burying herself back in the covers as he eyed her lovingly.

"Morgana?" he finally took the call and heard her relieved sigh..

"I thought you were asleep!"

"Well, not anymore..." he teased.

"Oh I am so sorry, I just-"

"Just joking." he cut her.

"Can you open me, please? I didn't want to ring the bell and wake up Nick."

Arthur smiled,

"And I thank you for that."

She chuckled weakly but something was wrong, he could feel it. Arthur frowned and then put on a shirt,

"I am on my way."

* * *

Morgana was fidgeting in front of the door, ready to cry any minutes after what she had done.

She regretted it because she liked Freya and she had never wanted to hurt her…

But Merlin.

She loved him.

And refusing him… It was impossible.

Plain and simple.

And then the door opened and she saw Arthur's blue eyes fill with concern and she opened the mouth,

But only burst out in tears.

And Arthur's eyes widened even more, before he caught her arm and brought her into his arms.

"Morgana..." he said, worried. "What's wrong? Is everything's alright?"

And Gwen must have heard noises because he heard her steps and sure enough, she was by his sides in minutes, stroking Morgana's hair.

"What's wrong, honey?" she asked, in that mother voice he loved so much about her.

Morgana buried her face in her brother's chest and then took a deep breath before she took a step back, and she looked so hurt, so lost that Arthur's heart broke for her; and somehow, he knew what it was all about.

"It's about Merlin, isn't it?"

She sniffled, nodding.

"I've made a mistake..." she sobbed.

"The kiss?"

Her eyes widened and Arthur shrugged sadly,

"Merlin told me."

"What did he tell you?"

"I am sorry Morgana, this is something you'll have to talk about with him."

She closed her eyes.

"I understand." and then opened them again, and she blushed. "I wasn't talking about the kiss, though..."

"Then what is it?" asked Arthur but Gwen tilted her head,

"We've made a mistake."

"Oh Morgana..." started her friend.

"It's serious, this time."

"Tell us, 'Gana." said softly Arthur and Morgana took a deep breath.

"I've slept with Merlin."

* * *

Arthur went in the kitchen a couple of minutes later to find his Guinevere making tea for his sister.

He sighed and walked to her, linking his arms around her waist and she leant into his arms, sighing softly.

"I feel bad for Morgana." he breathed and she stroked his arms lovingly.

"It's your sister, Arthur. Of course you would feel bad."

He kissed her curls tenderly and she hummed pleasantly.

"Where is she?" asked Gwen,

"In the guest room, she won't tell me more."

"I think she's told you enough."

Arthur sighed.

"It's just..." he sighed again and Gwen turned in his arms, cupping his cheeks.

"What is it, my love?"

"It's just that I know what it feels like not being able to be with the one that you love, and I do not wish that for Merlin and Morgana..."

Guinevere smiled sadly and then leant in, kissing him tenderly.

"This is not the same, Arthur. Merlin is engaged, none of us were." he raised an eyebrow and she blushed. "Right, I was, at some point."

He studied her and she felt herself blush in front of his affectionate and adoring gaze.

"I _know _what it feels like to want someone so much, to love someone so much, to know it is your destiny to end up with that person, and yet seeing that very person ready to marry somebody else..."

"Oh my love." is all that she could say, before she brought him to her, kissing him once again with all the love that she could muster. "It's in the past, now."

"I know, and I can ever be happier than I am right now, my Guinevere, with you and our son." She smiled and he added, "I just wish Morgana and Merlin could be that happy, too..."

Gwen sighed softly.

"You have to let them make their own mistakes, Arthur."

He pouted and she chuckled, pecked his lips tenderly and then removed herself from his embrace, before taking the cup of tea.

"I should go and see Morgana."

And then she was left, and Arthur ran a hand through his hair.

Well,

Gwen may be right when she said he shouldn't get involved…

But at the same time,

Why shouldn't he?

Morgana was his sister, Merlin was his bestfriend and he was absolutely certain that the two of them belonged together…

Arthur took his decision.

He would help them realize what was right in front of them,

That they belonged together.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 :**

Someone rang at the door and when Arthur opened, he froze slightly.

"Arthur!" smiled Freya and he forced a smile but was afraid it looked more like a face.

And then he glimpsed Merlin behind his fiancée and the young man was pale.

"I just have to say something to Merlin."

"Of course." smiled Freya, letting him in and Merlin had not moved.

"Merlin?"

That seemed to make his leave his thoughts, for he followed his bestfriend, Arthur led them to the garden, closed the door behind them and then slapped his friend on the back of his head.

"Ouch!"

"Don't dare you tell me you didn't deserve that."

Merlin looked down.

"So… I take it you know."

"Not only do I know but I can tell you that Morgana is here!"

Merlin looked up but there was no fear in his eyes, more like… hope.

And that made Arthur stopped and looked at his friend,

"What the hell are you doing, Merlin?"

The dark-haired man chuckled bitterly and then seemed really interested in the ground.

"Will it help if I tell you that I have no idea?"

"Don't make Morgana hope for nothing." couldn't help Arthur, because she was still his sister, and his duty was to protect her, even if she claimed that she didn't need him to.

"Well, as I remember it, she has no trouble hurting people for free!"

Arthur froze.

"Is it all there is to it? Are you trying to get back at her for what she did to you, years ago?"

And now he was angry.

Merlin's eyes widened.

"No ! Of course not ! You know me better than that."

Arthur sighed.

"Just … think about it, Merlin."

"I know! Don't you think that I know? I mean… God, you know that I love Freya!"

"I do."

"But you also know ..."

"I know."

And Arthur did know what Merlin had always felt about his sister.

"I don't know what to do, Arthur."

"I know it sounds cheeky, but you do what your heart tells you to."

Merlin scoffed.

"And if I don't know what that is?"

Arthur tilted his head, frowning slightly.

Then he clasped his best friend's shoulder and said before leaving,

"I think you do."

* * *

Guinevere was in the kitchen, preparing dinner for their guests when her phone buzzed and she frowned, wiped her hands and took it, before she froze and was sure all of her face lost its colour.

**Anonymous - You'll regret what you did to me, Guinevere.**

Her hands were trembling.

Oh God.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm the beating of her heart, answering.

**GP - LEAVE ME ALONE, LANCELOT.**

She was sure it was him.

Oh God, what-

"Is everything alright, Guinevere?" came a worried voice and she jumped, looking up to find Arthur looking at her, concerned.

"Fine." she lied and hurried to lock her phone before turning around to resumed her cooking.

"Who was it?"

"Who?"

"On the phone."

"What?" she tried but then heard him walked to her and she froze when he forced her to look at him, blue eyes so open.

"Who was it on the phone, Gwen? I can see you're troubled."

She smiled and kissed his cheek quickly,

"I am fine, Arthur. Will you watch over the pie for me? I have to go see Morgana."

And she left.

But Arthur noticed something and he frowned.

She had taken her phone with her.

* * *

Gwen took a deep breath and came into the room where Morgana was curled on the bed, and Gwen's heart broke for her friend.

"Morgana?" she called and the woman jumped, but softened when she saw who it was.

Then a silence.

"You must think that I am a monster, right?"

Gwen sighed and walked toward the bed, sitting on the edge of it.

"Not quite."

"I've slept with Merlin while he is engaged."

The brunette sighed again.

"And I have had my moments, too, you know. I've left Lancelot on the altar because I loved Arthur."

Morgana chuckled.

"I'm still winning our sick competition."

Gwen smiled.

"Morgana, what are you gonna do?"

A silence.

"I don't know."

"Do you love him? Because when I left Lance, the only thing I was sure about was that I loved Arthur and couldn't spend another second of my life without him. It had not been easy to realize, but I had always felt that way, when I took time to think about it. He was always my first choice..." she saw Morgana swallow dryly. "So I'll ask you once again, take your time to answer. Do you love Merlin? "

She didn't answer at first.

"I think I do."

"Do you_ think_ or do you_ know?_"

Another silence but Gwen was letting her time because she knew how facing her feelings could be complicated.

"I know it."

She laid a hand on her shoulder then, and Morgana jumped, before their eyes met.

"Then fight for him."

"What? But-"

"Fight for him, Morgana. Merlin deserves to be with someone who will fight for his love and affection, and if you're not ready to be that person, then you're not good enough for him." Emerald eyes opened wide. "I am sorry if I am being rude, but you need to hear this. You let him go once, don't do it again. There will always be another Freya to pick the broken pieces of his heart, until one day, he won't be willing to give it to you anymore."

Morgana's eyes were shining with tears, but Gwen needed her to understand.

Merlin had become one of the persons she loved the most on this Earth and she wouldn't let her hurt him again.

Never again.


	6. Chapter 6

"You really think that I should fight for him?" asked Morgana and Gwen smiled sadly, before she sat by her side on the bed, sighing deeply.

"I think that you should always fight for the ones you love."

Morgana took a deep breath.

"But he is engaged."

"He is."

"And Freya is a good person."

"She is."

"So why should I break that?"

Guinevere sighed again, and then she got up and walked to the door before turning around.

"Because this is not a matter of being a good person, Morgana. This is a matter of being the _right_ person."

And then she left.

* * *

Arthur was still frowning by the time Gwen came back to the living room.

She walked to him and kissed his cheek tenderly but he barely moved,

Okay, that wasn't right.

"Where is Nicholas?"

"Playing with Merlin outside, I think Freya is with them."

Guinevere nodded at that and then she curled into his husband's lap.

"So we do have some minutes all for ourselves before the pie is ready."

But she could feel something was wrong.

"You seem troubled, my love."

He sighed.

"What are you hiding from me?"

She couldn't help but freeze as she tried to keep her voice neutral.

"What do you mean, Arthur?"

He sighed again and then forced her to look at him, and she could see he looked worried and upset.

He cupped her cheeks and she forced herself to look as normal as she could.

"Everything is fine."

He frowned.

"You're lying."

"Arthur-"

"You forget that I know you too well for that, my love."

Her heart stopped.

But no.

She couldn't.

She couldn't tell him.

He would go to Lancelot right away, and who could say what he would do to protect her?

Who could say what Lancelot could do to _him?_

He seemed so out of control lately...

She didn't want something to happen to Arthur because she was unable to handle her business.

So Gwen sighed and removed his hands from her face, trying a smile.

"Seriously, I am fine."

"Guine_vere_..."

"The pie must be ready by now, call the others."

And then she left.

* * *

Dinner was _...tense_ to say the least.

Arthur didn't talk much.

Merlin didn't talk much.

Guinevere didn't talk much.

Morgana didn't talk much.

Freya didn't understand what was going on.

Nicholas was oblivious of it all.

But Arthur couldn't shake off the feeling that Gwen was lying to it and he hated it.

Hated that she felt the need not to tell him the truth.

And if she didn't trust him to tell him what was bothering her.

Then...

What did that tell about their wedding?

Merlin couldn't look up from his plate when there was his _fiancée _by his sides but he had cheated on her with the woman in front of him, whom he was sure he had never stopped loving.

And now he was just so lost.

What was the right thing to do?

Was the right thing to do, the right thing for _him?_

Guinevere couldn't think about anything else but Lancelot and his threats.

It was clear that he was still mad at her for what happened years ago and he was out for revenge.

That he came back for that reason.

She needed to keep Arthur away.

No matter what.

(Her heart broke at that)

Morgana couldn't even look at Merlin, let alone Freya.

She liked the young woman, and now she had slept with her boyfriend.

Not only had she slept with Merlin, but now she was also pretty sure that she was still in love with him.

Talk about complicated situations.

Freya couldn't for the life of her understand what was going on ; Arthur was frowning and he clearly looked upset, Merlin looked down on his plate without even talking at all, Guinevere seemed elsewhere and Morgana was quieter than she had ever seen her...

What the hell was going on, here?

And Nicholas couldn't even notice what was going on around him, so busy as he was with his pie.

Ah, to be a child again.

* * *

Once in the car, Freya turned toward his fiancé, but he was still avoiding her eyes and she couldn't understand why.

"Strange dinner, isn't it?"

He gripped the wheel.

"Why would you say that?"

"I remember the lots of you being louder."

Merlin swallowed.

"We're getting old, I gather."

She chuckled at that and put her hand at the nape of his neck, stroking it tenderly and she didn't feel him freeze under her touch.

But he did.

* * *

Guinevere was already laid down and ready to go to sleep when Arthur came back from having put Nicholas to sleep.

"He's already asleep." said her husband and she smiled.

"That boy falls asleep faster than you. I swear I didn't think it could be possible."

Arthur chuckled and then she felt the bed dip and soon enough, two strong arms brought her back to his warm embrace.

"Are you still mad at me?" she asked in a small voice and he sighed deeply, covering her skin in kisses before whispering.

"I was never mad at you." she began to speak but he cut her. "I was mad because I know that you're hiding something from me and I don't understand why."

She sighed and turned around in his arms, brown eyes finding blue eyes and she smiled tenderly, cupping his cheek.

"It's nothing, really." she breathed and he frowned slightly. "I am a bit under pressure at work."

"Because of Lancelot?" he asked and she froze. "Because if that's the case, I'll be more than happy to have more than a conversation with him and trust me he would never again bother y-"

But she cut his ramblings by kissing him softly and Arthur lost himself in her touch.

"I'm fine. It's work. Not Lancelot."

"Your promotion, then?" he tried and she nodded, smiling tiredly.

"You know that I love you, right?" she breathed and he smiled that dazzling smile that still had her weak in the knees.

"I love you too, my Guinevere."

She pecked his lips again and then buried herself further in his hold.

"Goodnight, Arthur."

"Goodnight, my love."

The man would have wanted to ask her again what was wrong, but it turned out that having her in his arms was what mattered the most in the end of his days.

He didn't give up though,

He would find out what was going on.

He would find out what Guinevere was hiding from him.

No matter what.

* * *

Morgana was in her bed, and she was just unable to fall asleep.

All she could do was think about Merlin.

And how she'd messed their relationship so many years ago...

He was all hers and she had left, broken his heart all because she had been too afraid to fully be his, and too afraid of him being fully hers.

And then, there had been that time when Gwen had chased Arthur in the airport.

Merlin and her had had a moment and she could remember him looking so lost, so torn between giving her a second chance and going to Freya...

She had been so afraid by what she could still see in his eyes.

She had told him to choose Freya.

No matter what she felt about him.

Morgana groaned loudly and buried her face in her pillows.

She had let Merlin go, again and again.

And what good did that make?

All she could think about was him.

He was the only man she had ever truly loved and the only man – she was sure, she was meant to love.

So what?

She would let him leave once again?

She raised her head, frowning.

No.

Not this time.

Gwen was right.

God, she was _so_ right.

You fight for the ones that you love.

And she loved Merlin.

It was time to take some risks...

So Morgana took a deep breath and her phone, dialing a simple text.

**MP - What happened between us... It meant something to me. We really have to talk, Merlin.**

She would tell him more in person, he needed to know everything before making a choice.

But right now, her heart was beating so loud in her chest that she could hear it in her head.

Her phone buzzed and she held her breath, reading the text...

**ME - I know we have to talk.**

She was about to answer but then another text...

**ME - And it meant something to me, too. You know it did, Morgana.**

She read that text a thousand times.

And there was still a huge smile on her face each time...

All was not lost.

He was not lost to her just yet.

She could still fight.

And fight she would.


	7. Chapter 7

_ **A FEW DAYS LATER...** _

Gwen was anxious to go to school.

She knew Lancelot would be there and she wasn't sure yet how to react in front of him.

She didn't know who to talk to, either.

Arthur was out of question, he would kill Lancelot with his bare hands.

Merlin had other things to think about.

Morgana did, too.

She was alone.

_Unless..._

She had become friend with another man in her school, a newcomer called Gwaine.

Gwen didn't know if it was appropriate to share such details of her life so soon, but she needed to talk to someone.

So she took a deep breath,

And started walking.

* * *

Arthur couldn't focus on hiw work.

Not when all that was on his mind was Guinevere and the strange way she had been acting these past few days...

He wanted to be there for her and couldn't just accept the fact that she didn't want him to.

The man sighed and took his phone.

**AP - You know that I love you, right? More than anything in this bloody world. I hope your day is going well, and you know I am here if you need anything. Anything, Guinevere. **

And then, after sending his text, he waited

.

But the answer never came.

* * *

Merlin didn't know what to do.

He was in his bed, thinking.

Freya had not pushed when he had repeatedly said that he wasn't in the mood for more in the past few days, but he knew that it couldn't last forever.

So now, what was his options?

He sighed again loudly and Freya stretched besides him.

He froze.

Bloody Hell.

"Merlin..." she whispered and he swallowed, before turning to look at her and she cupped his cheeks, eyes so concerned it broke his heart.

What was he doing?

"Talk to me." she breathed tenderly, thumbs stroking his skin.

He opened the mouth.

Nothing came.

He couldn't do that.

So instead, he took her hands and removed them from his face, laying a small kiss on her knuckles.

"I am sorry." At least that part was true. "It's just work. A lot of pressure. Hard to handdle."

And then, before she could add something else, he fled all the while cursing his cowardness.

He knew he was hurting her.

But what could he do?

* * *

Morgana was at her father's business and she swallowed dryly.

Because she had decided to stay and that meant she had to find a job.

Now, she had always said that she wouldn't take one from her father, but now she really had no other choice.

He life was complicated enough as it was.

She _needed _this job.

* * *

Guinevere knocked and the door opened, she saw Gwaine's eyes widened when he saw her, before he smiled widely at her.

She didn't quite feel comfortable.

But she really needed someone to talk to.

"Can I come in?" she asked and he smiled again.

"Of course, Princess." he walked in and waved at her to follow him, she was about to and then her phone rang.

_Arthur._

His text brought tears to her eyes, and her heart broke because she would want nothing more but being able to talk about it with him...

But she couldn't.

She knew how it would end.

So she took a deep breath.

And came in.

* * *

Morgana came into the hospital and asked for Doctor Emrys, a few seconds later Merlin arrived and she couldn't decide if he looked happy to see her, or upset.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he whispered.

Upset, then.

"I needed to see you." she answered and he nodded, taking her hand and leading her to a dark room at the end of a corridor.

(She tried not to notice how _right _it felt to have his hands on hers.)

"What is it, Morgana?" he asked, voice soft suddenly and it warmed her insides instantly.

God, she loved him.

"I just wanted to tell you that I found a job at Uther's Compagny."

Merlin's eyes widened and she knew why.

He was well aware of the fact that she had always said she would never do so.

But Morgana only smiled tenderly and took a step closer, delighted when he didn't take one back.

"Some things are worth make compromises for..."

Merlin couldn't help the smile blossoming on his sighed and cupped her cheek tenderly while she leant into his hand.

His eyes got lost on her lips and she knew he wanted to kiss her just as badly as she wanted to kiss him, but then they heard voices coming from the corridor and he jumped out of his daydream, taking a step away and she felt instantly cold.

"You shouldn't have come here. Freya is in the hospital and I don't want her to worry more than she already is."

Morgana's heart broke.

"I understand."

And she did.

It was an impossible situation for him, too.

She was about to leave when he talked one last time,

"Morgana? I really am happy that you're staying."

She smiled.

* * *

Arthur sighed deeply.

Still no sigh of his wife.

He had tried to call her at midday...

_Nothing. _

Now, it was almost 4pm and he knew she was the one supposed to pick Nicholas from school, so he tried once again to join her.

"Hello?" came her voice and he let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"It's me." he only said and heard her chuckle slightly.

"I do know that, Arthur. Your name appears on the phone."

He tried a smile.

But then...

"What is it, Guinevere? Are you alright?" then he added, "I am worried about you."

A silence.

"I am fine." she said and he sighed again.

"_Gwen_..."

"Really."

"I just want to be there for you." he admitted and heard her breath catch. "That's also what I signed for when we married, remember?"

Another silence.

"I love you." is all that she said and he smiled, closing his eyes, feeling a bit relieved by her words.

"Please, talk to me."

Again, silence.

"Nick is leaving school, I have to go."

"Please, wait-"

"I'll see you at home."

And then she closed the call.

And Arthur was left with his phone in his hand...

And a very bad feeling about it all.


	8. Chapter 8

When Guinevere came home with a very joyful Nick by her side, she couldn't help the lump in her throat. She knew Arthur would want explanations.

Explanations she was not ready to give him.

She couldn't.

Lancelot had threatened her and their family, Arthur would not take it well.

And it would end badly.

She didn't want that.

She loved her husband way too much.

So...

She would deal with her own problems.

"Daddy!" screamed their boy as soon as he came in and she swallowed.

And then he was there.

Blue eyes and golden hair, their son in his arms but his eyes on her.

"I'm really hungry, daddy." pouted Nicholas and Arthur smiled, his eyes falling on his son before kissing his cheek.

"Then go to the kitchen my son, I've made something for you."

"Yeah!"

And then he ran away, leaving the two adults alone.

And God, it was way more awkward than Gwen could have imagined.

"How was your day?" he asked, trying a smile and she smiled back.

"Fine. Yours?"

"Okay." he answered and then ran a nervous hand in his hair. "I was thinking… "he cleared his throat. "I was thinking perhaps we could go to dinner, tomorrow night? Morgana could watch over Nicholas and we could enjoy some time together, if you'd like?"

Another silence.

She wasn't sure.

A whole evening with Arthur?

By the end of it, she would have revealed all of her secrets.

No, she needed to solve her problems, first.

So, as much as it pained her…

"Gwen?" he tried again and she swallowed dryly.

"That's so sweet Arthur..."

"But?"

"But I am so tired with everything happening at work lately.. Another time?"

A shadow fall on his face at her words but he smiled, a smile that didn't reach his eyes at all.

"Another time then, my love."

She first herself to smile back and then walked away from him and into the kitchen, to their son.

And Arthur was left alone.

Repeating in his mind again and again that she had told him that she loved him.

Because when she acted like this, all distant and secretive... He couldn't help but being brought back 5 years back when she was so far away from him she left.

* * *

Merlin was in the special room where doctors could rest during shifts.

Thinking.

About Morgana.

She was staying.

She really was.

But what did that mean for the both of them?

He was still engaged.

(She was still Morgana.)

Merlin sighed and ran tired hands on his face before the door opened and he knew _who _was there before he opened the eyes.

"I want to know what's going on." she said and he froze before sitting.

"Freya..."

* * *

Dinner had been tensed but they had managed to keep up appearances for their son.

But now, Nicholas was soundly asleep in his room, blissfully unaware of his parents martial problems and the two adults were left alone in their room..

Guinevere sought refuge in their bathroom, but after a dozen of minutes (when she ran out of things to do there) she had to get out.

And sure enough…

Arthur was waiting for her.

"I know you're hiding something from me." is all that he said and she froze before taking a deep breath and walking to their bed.

"Leave it be, Arthur. Please."

But he didn't.

"I just don't understand why."

Instead, he walked to her side of the bed and she tried to recede from his eyes but he wouldn't let her.

"Talk to me."

She couldn't.

"Nothing is wrong."

"Why are you lying to me? I am your husband, for God's sake!"

He was pressuring her.

She knew how this would end…

They had not fought in ages.

"Arthur, let it be."

"Why?" he asked frustrated.

"Please-"

"Tell me, Guinevere."

"No, I-"

"Please. Let me help."

"Arthur-"

"Guine_vere..."_

And then she lost it.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH I WANT TO DISCUSS MY PROBLEMS WITH RIGHT NOW!" she shouted and his eyes widened, hurt by her comment.

She froze and instantly regretted the words she had just said.

"Arthur..."

"_No_." he cut her, eyes wide open and a slight blush on his cheeks (a sign she knew meant he was hurt but was holding back not to lash out in self-defense.) "That was actually pretty clear, Guinevere." he looked down a few seconds, frowning. "And pretty much what I had already concluded."

Her heart broke at that.

"I didn't mean that..." she tried weakly but he got up and walked to his side of the bed before he closed the light and laid down on his side, his back on her.

"Goodnight." he breathed and she froze.

"I am sorry-"

"Goodnight, Guinevere."

Her heart stopped.

She had messed up.

Badly.

"Goodnight."

Her voice broke.

Now she had hurt Arthur while he was only trying to help…

_Wonderful._

She hated Lancelot.

* * *

Merlin sighed deeply.

"Freya… I've worked 18 hours and quite frankly I'm too exhausted for that kind of talk."

She glared at him and walked until she was by his sides.

"Good." and her usually kind eyes were burning with a fire he didn't know. "Then maybe you will be too tired to lie to me again."

He froze.

"What?"

She sighed.

"I just want the truth, Merlin." she sat by his sides and took his hand in hers, and he saw the engagement ring shining on her finger.

He felt sick.

"The truth?" he breathed and she nodded.

"You've been acting weird ever since..." she took a deep shaky breath and somehow, Merlin knew what was coming. And sure enough… "Ever since Morgana came back into our lives."

His heart stopped.

He loved Freya dearly, but Morgana…

A flash of emerald eyes darkened by lust, of tender kisses and passionate embraces…

God, he was so lost.

And too tired to pretend he wasn't.

So Merlin ran a tired hand on his face and found the courage to look into Freya's glassy eyes, whispering the words that had a tear rolling down her cheek…

"I don't know."

* * *

Arthur couldn't sleep.

He was on his side, eyes wide open and heart clenching painfully in his chest.

The last person on Earth she wanted to share her problems with.

Well, if that wasn't clear…

He froze again and clenched his fists.

"I know you're not sleeping." she said and he froze. "I am sorry about what I said earlier, Arthur..." He didn't want her to be sorry. He wanted her to want him. Nothing more. And he was so, so terrified that this would change. It did once before. "I didn't mean it..."

"You did." he only said and felt her freeze.

"No-"

"It's alright, Gwen. It really is."

It wasn't.

"I hurt you."

He shrugged, eyes pricking suddenly and heart beating so fast in his chest.

"It's okay..." his voice broke slightly. "It's just one day we're talking about having more children together and the next you're pushing me away. I … ."

"Arthur-"

"I didn't mean to pressure you." he finally breathed and Gwen's eyes widened at that, heart stopping in her chest.

"No.." she breathed but he turned around and his eyes were guarded and anxious. "Please this has nothing to do with you, or our family you have to know that." her heart broke in her chest as he seemed to study her and then his hand found hers under the cover and he took it, squeezed it and laid it against his beating heart in the quiet of the room.

"I didn't mean to pressure you with having more children, I swear." he looked so scared and she hated that every time that they fought he still looked at her like she might run away from him forever.

She hated herself for that.

"Arthur, no..." tears were pricking at the back of her eyes.

"I'm quite happy with our life. _Very_ happy." he admitted, looking down a few seconds.

"I am happy too!" she exclaimed but he wasn't listening.

"I don't need anything more and-"

"You're not even listening to me!" she said, frustrated and he paled a bit more.

"Sorry. I..." his voice broke. "I am sorry Guinevere."

And then a silence.

She didn't know what to say.

He was waiting for her to say something but she couldn't.

She couldn't.

Arthur tried a smile and opened the mouth but then frowned.

"You can talk to me if you want." he breathed, and he blinked a few times chasing some sadness away. "Or not. You don't… you don't have to talk to _me_. What I mean is… I mean..." Arthur opened the mouth and her heart broke for him. "I only mean that…" He looked down, frowning. "I just wanted to say…" their eyes met again and he smiled so sadly she felt horrible. "I just want you to be happy, Guinevere. That's all. If… If you need to talk to someone that isn't me to do that, I… I … I just… I can understand." his heart was clenching so painfully in his chest but he was doing this for her. For his wife. Always. "Goodnight, Guinevere."

And then he turned around and closed his eyes tightly.

* * *

A silence in the room, and he saw the tears on her cheeks, hated himself for it.

"Did something..." her voice broke and she took a deep breath. "Did something happen with _her_?"

He sighed.

"Freya, please..."

"I need to know, Merlin. I _deserve _to know."

"It's complicated."

"I don't understand why!" she said louder and he actually jumped. "She left you like you meant nothing and still here you are, years later acting like a little dog following her around!"

Great.

Now he was angry.

"You don't know what you're talking about!"

She got up and he had never seen her angry. If Merlin had stopped, he could have seen her frantic eyes and shaking hands, could have seen she was actually just scared to death about losing him.

But he didn't see any of that.

"THEN EXPLAIN TO ME!"

"MORGANA WAS THE LOVE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE OKAY?!" he screamed and her eyes opened in surprise but he was to angry and tired to care. "I am sorry but she was. Yes she left me and I was devastated, I thought I would never move on from her! Now there is you and you know I love you with all my heart but I can't just _forget _that she is here… I can't just force my heart to forget about her nor can I force it not to miss a beat when she smiles at me, or looks at me ! I can't Freya and do you want to know why?"

"Because you never really gave up on her..." whispered Freya and Merlin's eyes widened, finally realizing his outburst.

"Freya..."

But she shook her head, eyes wide.

"No. I think I need some time. Alone. "

And then she was out.

"FUCK!" shouted Merlin, burying his face in his hands.

* * *

On the next morning, she woke up to find Arthur was already up.

She groaned, thinking about their fight and got up, hearing talk from the kitchen.

"You look sad, daddy."

Her heart broke at that and she stopped.

"I'm alright, buddy. Don't worry about me, it's my job to worry about you not the other way around."

She came in the kitchen at that moment and Arthur looked up, before his eyes widened slightly.

Guinevere held a gasp… He looked like he had not slept at all.

He was pale and little dark circles were around his eyes.

Had he only slept?

His eyes studied her just the same but he kept his distance from her, holding his cup tightly.

"Hello, sunshine." she breathed, kissing Nick's curls.

"Hello, mommy!"

She grabbed a cup and tried not to feel Arthur's stare on her but it was complicated.

"I'm going to get dressed!" said happily Nicholas, obnoxious of what was going on between his parents.

She looked up from her cup once he was gone and Arthur was still looking at her, looking like he wanted to say something but she wasn't ready for a talk right now… She was too tired and too anxious to see Lancelot again.

So she cut him.

"Please Arthur, stop looking at me like that."

He paled a bit more.

"Can we talk about it?" he asked and she tensed.

"Not now, please."

He ran a hand through his hair and she noticed how weary he really looked.

"Guinevere, please..."

But she was as stubborn as he was.

"Arthur-"

"What happened last night-"

"Please don't-"

"But we have to talk about it!" he screamed and she jumped, eyes wide and he was breathing heavily, blue eyes wide and frantic. "We have to because you're pulling away from me again and I won't let you do it. Do you hear me?" he walked to her and gripped her shoulders and she got lost in the blue of his eyes, "I won't let you take your distance from me, Guinevere. Not now, not ever. Do you hear me?"

She nodded, like under his spell and he nodded too then cupped her cheeks and whispered fiercely against her lips,

"No matter what you are my wife, we swore to be together in sickness or in health, in good or bad and don't you dare try to get rid of me because I won't let you. You're mine Guinevere, and I am yours. _Forever." _

She nodded still dazed by his eyes and then he kissed her like he wanted to make a statement, like he was afraid to lose her and terribly afraid she would walk away from him again.

It was a desperate kiss and after a few seconds, Guinevere was kissing her husband back just as passionately because who had she been kidding?

He was Arthur.

_Her_ Arthur.

And she couldn't live without him.


	9. Chapter 9

_ **Two weeks later** _

Merlin had a problem.

And this problem was that he was really, really, _really _angry.

Angry towards Morgana, angry towards Freya, angry towards that messed up timing…

But above all else.

Angry towards himself.

And then without him even noticing it, his car had driven him to the one place he knew he could find the one person he could not stop thinking about…

_Morgana._

He knew she was staying in an hotel now, the time for her to find an apartment of her own, and he could only hope she was there.

Merlin got out of his car, and took a deep breath before knocking on the door he knew she was.

A few seconds.

And then the door opened and Morgana's eyes widened when she saw him, but she smiled that smile that used to make him weak in the knees.

(That smile that _still_ made him weak in the knees.)

"Merlin?"

But he didn't answer.

This time he was done talking, instead he cupped her cheeks and kissed her passionately not leaving her even a slight chance to talk but soon she was kissing him back, bringing him inside her room and he closed the door behind him.

* * *

Arthur was at work but truth be told, he couldn't think about anything else but Guinevere.

And their fight.

Their oh-so-stupid fight.

She had kissed him back that morning and that was something at least. But she was still acting distant and these couple of weeks had been so strange... her behaviour was still very upsetting and she had still to explain-

"Are you alright, Arthur?" came a voice and he jumped, looking at Mithian through tired eyes.

She was frowning slightly and for a moment, he cursed the ability she had to read right through him.

"I am fine."

"Arthur..."

He looked down, sighing.

"I am, Mithian."

"I know this face." she finally said and that made him look up, and now she was looking at him with so much kindness in her eyes. "This is your _I-am-heartbroken_ face. And I have not seen it in so many years, now..."

It was useless.

She was one of his bestfriends.

She knew him better than anyone else (well, except Guinevere).

"It's Guinevere." he finally said and she smiled, encouraging.

"I gathered that much."

"Something happened but I'm not sure what." he said, looking at his hands. "And all I know is that one day we're talking..." he swallowed, "we're talking about having more children, and the next she is so distant and cold! We fought last night, pretty hard and harder than we had in years." his eyes met Mithian's "I'm scared because I don't want to lose her again. I can't go through that again, Mithian." his voice broke, "I swear that I can't."

"Arthur, you've been married for so long, now. You've got a son and I've never seen two people more meant to be that Gwen and you."

"I know." he whispered.

"You'll have to let go of the thought that she will leave you each time you guys fight." she said so very softly, squeezing his hand. His heart broke. How did she know him that well? "I know you're scared Arthur, but what you have is real. Trust her. She may be going through some stuff right now, but at the end of the day, you're still hers and she is still yours."

He smiled soflty.

"You're right."

"I usually am." she smirked and he laughed. "Now, go and get your woman."

Arthur smiled and then got up, kissed her cheek and left,

"I don't know what I would do without you!"

Mithian laughed.

* * *

Gwen was so absolutely lost about what to do.

She wanted to tell Arthur.

She really, _really _did.

But she knew him so well and she knew how he would react, he would go to Lancelot to _have more than a conversation with him_.

She sighed.

No, Arthur hated Lancelot and Lancelot hated Arthur, she didn't know how that fight would end up and she wouldn't risk it.

She couldn't.

So she took a deep breath and knocked on the door of the person she had been talking to lately, telling him all about her problems.

"Gwen?"

"Hi." she smiled softly, "Can I come in? I need a friend. "

Gwaine smiled and opened the door wider,

"Of course."

She came in and then he sat on his desk and she sat beside him.

"What's going on, gorgeous?"

She sighed again.

"It's Arthur and Lancelot."

"I gathered that much."

She smiled sadly, Gwaine had sworn that he wouldn't tell a soul about the things she told him, swore he wouldn't go to Lance or even act like he knew.

She trusted him.

"Arthur knows something is wrong and I'm not sure I can keep on lying to him."

"Gwen..."

"We fought last night. We fought because I'm distant and it is hurting him, what kind of wife am I Gwaine, to hurt my husband that much?"

The man sighed.

"The kind of wife that loves her husband very much." he smiled softly and she chuckled darkly.

"I doubt Arthur is seeing things that way..."

"He should." he answered, firm and she rolled her eyes. "If Arthur isn't a fool then he should see just how much you're doing for him and your family."

"Gwaine..."

"_But_, if you really feel this way, maybe it's time you talk about it with your husband." she looked up and their eyes met,

"Thank you." she smiled and then took his hand in hers, squeezing it. "For everything."

"Well, that will be 20£ for my time, young lady."

She laughed.

* * *

Arthur arrived at the school and he couldn't say why, but he was nervous.

He clutched at the flowers he was holding and then came in, searching for his Guinevere.

Not in her classroom but that was to be expected as it was lunch break.

Arthur was about to go ask Alice when he heard voices…

He froze and walked to another classroom, drawn by the laugh of his beloved wife.

The door was slightly opened and when he peeked inside…

Arthur's heart broke in his chest.

Guinevere.

_His _Guinevere was with another man.

Holding his bloody hand in hers, and smiling that bloody smile that was supposed to be all _his _and looking at him what that look that she reserved only for _him _and they were sat so close to each other and this all scene transpired… _intimacy._

And that hurt Arthur way more than he would have liked to admit.

Because such an intimacy was exactly what they lacked of for a few weeks, now…

She didn't let him near her.

She didn't let him touch her.

She didn't let him kiss her.

She didn't let him make her laugh.

She didn't confide in him.

She didn't even bother to talk to him, most of the time.

Their intimacy was lost and it hurt so badly to see she had that with someone else.

He did the only thing he could do,

Turned around and left, not wanting to cause a scene at her place of work.

She deserved better than that from him.

* * *

Merlin and Morgana were facing each other, bodies so close together and still catching their breath.

No words needed to be spoken, but Merlin was stroking her cheek tenderly and she had a gentle smile on her face while her eyes never left his.

They had to talk and they knew it.

"Sleep, Merlin." she breathed and he pursed his lips slightly, studying her face.

Then he hold her so close to him and whispered against her skin,

"I don't want you to be gone when I wake up."

Morgana's heart stopped, his words like a bullet.

So she did the only thing she could think of and buried her face in his chest, whispering there..

"I am not leaving you." then, lower. "Not ever again."

Merlin sighed and tightened his hold on her, slurring some words in his sleepy state and she was fairly certain he had told her _I love you_.

A tear rolled down her cheek.

But she wouldn't be afraid of the strength of their feelings for each other…

Never again.

So she said back, very softly and half wanting him to answer but half wanting him not to…

"I love you too, you know."

* * *

Arthur was at the house, drinking a glass of whiskey and trying to make sense on what he saw.

It was nothing.

Nothing.

It didn't have to mean that she was having feelings for someone else…

It didn't have to.

But it did.

God, it did.

She was being distant for weeks now, but she was clearly having no trouble being close to this… this other man.

And that look in her eyes? That sparkle he knew all too well?

Arthur chuckled darkly and ended his drink.

He couldn't go through that again.

He thought they were over that.

He had thought…

But then his heart broke again as realization fall on him.

Would he never be good enough for her?

Shouldn't love be more simple?

He loved her so, so much.

Why couldn't she just feel the same?

A tear escaped his eyes and fall down his cheek.

He was doing all that he could to make her happy…

Why couldn't that be enough?

* * *

When Merlin opened his eyes, he found Morgana right there and that brought a warmth to his heart that scared him.

"We have to talk." he breathed and she nodded, nuzzling his chest.

"We do."

"Morgana..."

"No." she cut him and then receded so that their eyes met, "You have to listen to me, first." he was lost in the fire in her eyes, couldn't answer. Truth be told he would have agreed to anything she asked, right now. So he nodded and she took a deep breath, cupping his cheek and smiling at him so tenderly. "I love you, Merlin." his eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat, but she didn't stop. "I am sure you know by now that I am so ridiculously in love with you." she chuckled and he couldn't stop the smile on his face. "You need to make a choice and I know that, but you need to know that I am ready for it all." his heart stopped. "With you. No more fears, no more fleeing, just you and me forever. I want that."

A small silence.

Merlin couldn't find his words.

(And that had never happened before.)

He opened the mouth, closed it and then finally said.

"I want that too, Morgana. You know that I've always wanted that."

"But?" she murmured and he brought his hand to hers on his face.

"But how can I be sure that you won't just run off again when things get serious?"

A tear rolled down her cheek.

"Trust in this." she whispered and then caught his lips in a desperate kiss.

He kissed her back, obviously.

* * *

Gwen took a deep breath and opened the door,

"Honey, we're home!"

Nothing.

"Daddy!" screamed Nicholas and Arthur finally appeared but something was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

He looked hurt and guarded and she had not seen that look on him for so long.

He leant in and took his son in his arms, talking about their days until finally Nick left and the adults were left together.

"How was your day?" she tried but he even refused to meet her eyes.

"Fine. Yours?"

"Arthur..." she took a deep breath. "I think you were right. We should talk. There are some things I need to tell you. Important things. But I am sorry because I know this will hurt you."

He froze.

Arthur's heart broke and broke even more in his chest because she looked so happy, so unburdened and it was all thanks to this new man she had met…

He wished more than anything else she would go to him, to share her burdens.

"I have to go help Nick." he said instead, fleeing a talk he was not ready for.

"But-"

But he was gone.

Arthur tried to focus on his son and if he hugged him a bit tighter than usual?

Well,

Who could blame him.

* * *

"I have to leave." he said after some time and she cuddled closer to him.

"I know."

"I have lots to think about."

Morgana nodded but she couldn't help but holding him closer.

"I wish we could stay like this forever." she whispered and his heart missed a beat.

Merlin knew he had to leave but he couldn't without giving her some kind of reassurance, so he really hoped it was enough when he receded slightly, cupped her cheeks and prayed his eyes were telling her all that she needed to know.

By the way she was looking at him, it did.

* * *

They were in bed but Gwen could feel something was wrong, could feel the tension emanating from Arthur's body.

Was that what their life would look like, from now on?

She couldn't live like that.

He had been so distant all night…

What if this time, she had really gone too far and hurt him too much?

He had been through so much already, loving her.

Her heart broke.

"Is this because of me?" she whispered and felt him freeze.

"I don't want to talk about it, Guinevere." his voice was so low she almost didn't hear it in the silence of their room, and then he turned on his side.

A tear rolled down Gwen's cheek.

"Last morning you wanted to talk about us, Arthur. What changed?"

He froze.

What changed was that he wasn't sure he was able to hear what she had to say without falling apart.

He needed time.

"I'm tired, Guinevere."

"We'll have to talk, at one point."

"I know."

She sighed and ran a tired hand through her hair.

What she didn't know was that Arthur wasn't ready to face this new reality.

Not now and probably not ever.

"Arthur, please listen to me..."

But no.

He couldn't.

"Goodnight, Gwen."

And oh God, it was bad.

Even more than what she had first thought of.

Arthur only called her "Gwen" when he was upset.

Great.

Arthur was on his side, eyes wide open and clutching at his pillow.

He couldn't face her.

Not when they had talked about having more children together and he had been so very happy, so very much in love with his wonderful wife and now in the coldness of their room, all that was left was the question of how long had she felt this way about someone else than him, and what that meant for their family.


	10. Chapter 10

Arthur had not slept.

At all.

He had spent the entire night thinking about everything.

He couldn't lose Guinevere.

He wouldn't.

And he would fight back for her.

They had a family and that had to mean something to her.

So…

Arthur looked over at her side and smiled softly, seeing her asleep with her face turned towards him.

He hesitated barely one second and brought her to him in a warm embrace.

She nuzzled against his chest, sighing happily and then he saw her frown slightly and confused brown eyes looked up at him.

"Arthur?"

"I am here, my love."

"You're not mad at me anymore?"

He chuckled despite of himself and brought her even closer to him.

"You know I can't stay mad at you for the life of me."

She smiled and kissed his clothed chest.

"The feeling is very mutual, husband."

He smiled.

And then a small silence settled, silence only broken by her, in a very soft voice.

"I love you."

Arthur's heart warmed.

"I know that." He finally admitted because that was the truth. He didn't doubt her love for him, he was afraid she could love someone _more_. "And I know that no matter what, you and I are meant to be together." Their eyes locked in a loving embrace. "No matter how rocky things can get."

Gwen smiled, touched.

They still had a lot to talk about but she didn't want to ruin their moment.

They were quite lost in each other when suddenly small footsteps could be heard and they both chuckled.

"Duty awaits." Smiled her husband, getting up but she didn't want him to leave their little bubble just yet, so she caught his hand and brought him back to her, kissing him like nothing would ever matter as long as they had this.

(Nothing ever would.)

Arthur kissed back, basking in all the love she was willing to give him and returning it.

They would be alright.

He was sure of it.

He just needed to get out of his head and his insecurities, and she needed to start opening herself to him and share what was on her mind.

But that was what marriage was about.

Overcoming both of their fears…

_Together. _

* * *

Merlin didn't know what to do.

His heart wanted Morgana.

(Had always wanted Morgana)

But…

But there was still Freya and they were engaged and how could he just wipe that off like it meant absolutely nothing?

He meant every word he told her when he asked her to marry him.

So now what?

He came inside their flat and Freya was waiting for him.

He froze.

Her eyes were red and puffy.

She had cried.

Because of him.

He felt terrible.

Because he did love her.

But was it enough?

"Where were you?" she finally asked but something in her eyes told him she knew exactly where he had been.

He sighed.

And sat by her side on the couch.

Wondering for what felt like the millionth time…

What to do now?

* * *

Arthur was on the road to see his sister and for the first time in weeks, he felt hopeful.

At least he had decided he would feel hopeful.

Gwen loved him and no matter this new man fighting his way through her life…

No.

He shook his head, refusing to think about it.

No.

He would fight for her and refused to think this new man would or could take his place.

So,

Arthur took a deep breath.

Because everything would be alright in the end.

He would make sure of it.

The blond man stopped his car in front of Morgana's hotel and got out, before walking to her door and knocking.

She opened right away and something in her eyes…

Hope.

The same as his.

"Are you alright?" he asked as she let him in.

"I think so."

"Have seen Merlin, then?"

She smiled, a shy thing.

"I have."

"And?"

"And I have hope things can work out."

Arthur smiled.

"I know it will. I've known Merlin forever and he loves you." Morgana beamed.But Merlin was like a brother to him, so he felt the need to add..."But Morgana, you have to be sure this time. You can't break his heart again. Getting over you had been too difficult to him."

She looked down.

"I know."

He felt bad for his little sister and squeezed her hand.

"I'm not saying that to put a blame on you, you know."

She smiled weakly.

"I know, Arthur. And you're right." Then she took a deep breath. "But I am sure. I want him. More than I have ever wanted anybody." she took a deep breath. "I know I made some bad decisions but it's him, Arthur. It's always been him."

Arthur beamed.

"Then you have my full support."

* * *

Gwen was at school, thinking about her talk with Arthur this morning when suddenly Lancelot walked to her.

"You are not going to get away with the way you treated me, Gwen."

She sighed deeply.

"This is really getting too much." she glared at him, her talk with Arthur had given her strength again. "This was five years ago, don't you think you just need to let it go?"

"How dare you talk to me like this?"

He walked to her but she didn't walk back and instead tilted her chin up,

"Leave me alone or I will talk about all of this with Arthur, and I can assure you he won't like it."

A silence.

She actually thought she had won but then…

He laughed.

He actually laughed and she froze.

"Oh dear Guinev_ere..._"

"Don't call me that." she cut him and his smile went so, so dark.

"You think I don't want you to tell your precious husband?"

She frowned,

"What do you mean?"

He walked closer to her still and she forced herself not to flinch.

"What I mean is… Please, do tell Arthur. Knowing him like I do he will come to me and then… Well, let's just say accidents do happen quickly, don't they?"

She froze in horror.

"You don't mean that."

"Do I?" he said innocently. "Where do you think I've been, these past five years? Making some... interesting friends."

And then he left, laughing.

Her heart stopped.

Now he was not only threatening her but Arthur.

Her Arthur.

She was hyperventilating and crying.

She needed air.

No,

Not air.

She needed Arthur.

* * *

They had not talked in a few minutes and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Look-"

"I know." she said, wiping her eyes and he felt horrible. "I know where you were and I know what you did."

"Freya-"

"No. You will shut up and listen to me, Merlin Emrys." His eyes widened. "I know. I know what you did with Morgana and I know you really are lost, you have a choice to make. But… But Merlin, we are engaged and if you wait for me to step aside well… Well think again." she tilted her head and could he feel worst?

"Please, let me explain."

"There is nothing to explain." she cupped his cheeks. "Merlin, when I met you… You were so, so so heartbroken." he looked down, tears pricking at the back of his eyes. "I don't think you remember just how much you were hurt. But you were. Because of _her_."

"Freya-"

"NO!" she shouted and he jumped, "She is not playing fair, I won't either."

"This is not Morgana's fault. Whatever happened. It's mine."

Pain crossed her face.

"And here you are, defending her _again_."

He sighed.

"I just..."

"Look, I know I may not be as beautiful as her-"

"Please don't-"

"Or charming-"

"Freya, that's not-"

"But _I _never hurt you, never had and never will."

That shut him up.

"I know." he finally admitted.

"And I love you so very much, Merlin. So, so much." her voice broke and his heart did with it.

He didn't know what to do.

How could one man be that lost?

"You know I love you too." he murmured and a tear escaped her eye.

"I just don't know if this is enough."

Another silence.

"I just need to think." he breathed and she smiled sadly, kissing his cheek.

"I know you do."

And then she left to their room and he took his phone, calling the only person in the whole world he wanted to speak to right now.

"Yes?"

"Bar, now."

A silence.

"I'll be there in five."

* * *

Gwen was back home but so very distracted.

All she could think about was Lancelot's words…

Did he mean it?

The truth was, he was not himself lately and that was what worried her.

She prided herself in knowing Lance quite much and that look in his eyes?

She had never seen it before.

"Mummy?" came a voice that made her jump and Nicholas was frowning at her.

"Sorry baby, what were you saying?"

"You look weird." he pouted and she ruffled his curls.

"I'm fine." she tried a smile. "Just tired."

And worried.

So, so worried.

* * *

When Arthur came in the bar, he saw right away Merlin sat at a booth by himself, mopping over a beer.

"Looks like you could use something stronger than that." he said and Merlin jumped, before smiling sadly and Arthur settled in front of him, ordering his own beer.

"Thank you for coming."

"Well, I had nothing better to do." he smirked and Merlin chuckled weakly. "What is it?"

"I don't know what to do."

And it was so strange to see his best friend in this state… Merlin, always cheerful and smiling.

"About Morgana?"

He nodded.

"I talked to Freya."

"Oh."

"Yes, _exactly_." he chuckled darkly.

"And?"

"And I don't know."

"What did she tell you?"

"That she loved me.That she had never hurt me.That she knew I had slept with Morgana..."

"You're not a bad person, Merlin."

The young man froze and he looked up, looking at his best friend,

"It would seem like it, though."

Arthur sighed.

"Look, you're not. Trust me. I've known you all my life and I have never met someone as nice, righteous, truthful and a better friend than you. Never. I don't even think such a person exist!"

Merlin smiled at that,

"Are you aware you just told me something _nice, _dollop head? Will you be able to live with that?"

"Nah, I'll just say you were so depressed you heard what you wanted to." shrugged Arthur and Merlin laughed.

"Thanks."

Arthur smiled.

"So..."

"I love them both." he finally admitted.

"I know. But you have to think about who you _need _in your life."

Merlin sighed.

"I don't know..."

"I have an idea," said Arthur, "We'll take a break from all of that and spent tonight just drinking, and complaining about women and laughing and telling old stories we've already told a million times, what do you think?"

Merlin smiled.

"Deal."

"I'll get more booze, then." he said, getting up.

"Thank you for all of that, Arthur."

The blond man smiled and squeezed his best friend shoulder,

"It will all work out, in the end. Trust me."

Merlin smiled sadly.

* * *

A few hours later, Arthur came home quite drunk and refused to sleep even one more night without Gwen in his arms.

His talk with Merlin had shaken him up more than he was willing to admit.

He first came into his son's room, kissed his hair and wished him goodnight before going into their room with his wife, smiling when he saw she was asleep.

After a few moments in the bathroom, he hopped in the bed and brought his wife to him, nuzzling her neck.

Little did he know Gwen wasn't asleep at all.

Her mind was still whirling with thoughts.

And she knew she should tell him…

But Lancelot had really scared her this time.

This something in his eyes…

She wasn't exactly sure of what he would or wouldn't do.

And she couldn't risk Arthur.

Gwen nuzzled herself closer to his chest and heard his content sigh, his arms closing tightly around her.

"Gnight, mlove." he slurred sleepily.

No.

No she wouldn't risk him.

She just didn't know what she would do.

She would talk to Lancelot.

Try to make him see reason.


	11. Chapter 11

Gwen woke up to the feelings on strong arms around her and she smiled, nuzzled herself closer against the warmth on her back and felt Arthur stirred, kissing the back of her neck and she smiled, took his hand from where it was on her stomach and leant her head on it, kissing it lightly.

"Morning." he rasped and she smiled again,

She loved these kind of moments.

"Morning." He tightened his hold on hers and she sighed contently.

"How was your night?"

"Nick and I had a great time." he hummed against her skin. "You?"

"It was alright." She laughed and elbowed him in the ribs.

"Truth, please."

Arthur rolled his eyes and groaned,

"Merlin and I had a great time, as usual. Happy?"

She giggled and his heart missed a beat.

Then she turned around in his arms,

"Why is it so hard for you to say it, you know he's your best friend."

Arthur made a face and she giggled again, making him laugh.

"He's more than that." he finally admitted. "That idiot's family."

Guinevere smiled and cupped his cheek.

"I love you so much."

She saw he was taken aback, but a bright smile soon found way on his lips.

"I love you too. You know that."

"Doesn't hurt to hear it once in a while."

Arthur smiled and leant in, kissing her.

And Gwen thought… It was the time.

She could tell him right now.

But then-

"Mummy! Daddy!" someone knocked on their door. "I am hungry!"

Both adults laughed.

"Coming, my boy." only said Arthur and then in one last peck on the lips he was gone, and with him her chance to tell him about Lancelot and his threat.

* * *

Merlin woke up from where he had surely crashed last night, after way too many drinks with Arthur.

He got up only to get a bottle of water with an aspirin and then went straight back to bed.

And then he froze.

Because if he remembered correctly…

Merlin took his phone, praying that alcohol was making his memory blurry.

But then…

"Oh bloody hell."

He had been texting Morgana all night.

(And why the hell did Arthur not stop him? Where was this dollop head when he needed him?!)

He had texted awfully oblivious messages…

**ME: You know you are so very beautiful. I have never met a woman as beautiful as you in my ENTIRE life.**

Oh no.

There was worst.

**ME: You're smart.**

**ME: And funny. **

**ME: You're everything I want in a woman.**

**ME: Are you even real?**

**ME: I'll have to check with Arthur. Surely he would know if you're real or not…**

**ME: You don't seem real, though.**

**ME: Well, you seem real when I kiss you.**

**ME: I should kiss you, then.**

**ME: I certainly want to right now.**

**ME: Yet again I want to all the time. **

He buried his face in his hands and groaned.

"SHIT."

**MP: You're sweet but you're drunk, Merlin. ;)**

**ME: I'm only drunk on you.**

Oh bloody hell, was he _that _bad at flirting?

**MP: Haha, again, sweet. But I do think you and my brother can go home now, no more booze for you.**

**ME: I am not drunk!**

**MP: Exactly what a drunk person would say.**

**ME: Morgana!**

**MP: Only joking. We'll talk about all of it when you're sober, if that is really what you want.**

**ME: What I really want is to kiss you.**

For real now, where was Arthur to stop him for making a fool out of himself this way?

**MP: I guess we'll see about that, too.:) Goodnight, Merlin. Xx**

**ME: Goodnight, my lady. Xx**

He was so embarassed he couldn't talk to her.

Not now.

Not ever.

He buried his face in his pillow, groaning.

A part of himself reminded him that he had sent nothing to Freya, that he just noticed she wasn't even home but he shut that part up for now.

One thing at a time.

* * *

Nick was playing in his room, leaving Gwen and Arthur together.

It was Sunday, they had nowhere else to be.

Nowhere else to flee…

Gwen took a deep breath and turned towards her husband, who was on the couch.

"We need to talk, Arthur."

And then she realized she should have maybe come up with another line because Arthur tensed so visibly in front of her.

He didn't want to hear about her new colleague.

He just wanted things to be the way they were since the morning.

"Guinevere..."

"It's important."

And then he sighed and put down his book, taking a deep breath.

"I know."

She sat by his sides on the couch and now he was fidgeting, which was killing her.

She hated to see him like that so…

"But first..." she breathed and then cupped his cheeks and kissed him with all the love she could muster.

Arthur seemed surprised at first but kissed her back with as much passion and when they broke apart, they were breathless.

She could see the softness back in his eyes and smiled, proud of herself.

"I love you." he said and she smiled,

"I love you, too."

They both took a deep breath and then…

"I am ready to talk." she said and he nodded,

"And I am ready to hear it."

* * *

Merlin was still home, desperately waiting for his hangover to pass.

And when had his life become so complicated?

And then he heard the door opened and he froze.

Freya was home.

And that could only mean one thing…

That talk he was trying to avoid at all cost?

Well, There was no escaping it now.

She came in and looked so exhausted he felt horrible.

For so many reasons.

"Freya."

"Hello, Merlin."

She sighed again and walked to him, sitting by his sides and he had never felt so useless in his life.

He hated it.

"I'm gonna stay at my parents' for some time."

"Freya-"

"I think it's best. For everyone."

He looked down.

"I am so sorry."

"Don't be." she tried a smile,"Your choice isn't done yet, is it?"

"No."

"Then there is still hope."

Their eyes met and he was hit by how much she actually meant to him.

"Yes, there is."

She smiled and took a deep breath, readying herself for what she was about to say.

"Merlin, in order for this to work, you need time to think on your own."

"I know."

"That means not seeing me, nor … her."

He sighed again.

"I've already come to that conclusion, too."

She smiled, then took something and he saw a tear rolling down her cheek as she laid the ring in front of him.

"Freya..."

"I don't want it unless you really want to give it to _me_." her voice broke but she cleared her throat and cupped his cheek, studying him for what felt like the last time. "Until then, Merlin Emrys." she pecked his lips and his heart broke as she walked away.

Merlin was so lost but she was right and he knew it,

This was the right thing to do.

He could always count on her to make him make the right choice.

So he took his phone and texted Morgana.

**ME: I have to talk to you, will be at your place in a few minutes.**

**MP: Okay.**

* * *

"What are you hiding from me, Guinevere?" he asked softly and she took a deep breath, trying to find some courage.

"I didn't mean to hide things from you, you know." she shrugged and he squeezed her hand, "It's just hard to talk to you, sometimes."

Arthur tried to hide how much that actually hurt.

"Why?"

She sighed.

"Because sometimes you don't listen anymore and just act without thinking of the consequences. You let your anger overcome your reason, which make it difficult for me to tell you stuff that I know will make you angry."

This time she saw she had hurt him and instantly regretted her words.

"Arthur, that's not-"

"I didn't know you felt this way, Guinevere." he said, taking his hand back. "Sorry for being such a bad husband."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"Oh so this is one of the case when I let my anger overcome your real meaning?"

She froze.

"Arthur, please."

He sighed deeply, keeping his frustration in check.

And then...

"So you can't trust me, but you can trust that new man who is working with you."

Her eyes widened.

"What?"

"I saw you in class with _him_." and now he looked upset, she could see the fear careful hidden in the blue of his eyes, but she couldn't blame him.

"Arthur that's not-"

"You were both so close." he chuckled darkly. "A lot closer that what you've been letting _me_ be lately."

She froze.

"Don't say that."

He frowned and receded a bit, and she recognized his face: he was angry.

"Can you tell me I am wrong?"

"Arthur..." then, "Nothing is going on with Gwaine, you have to know that."

His silence was worth more than anything.

And then she was angry.

"Do you still not trust me? Is it what this is all about _again_?"

He scoffed.

"Please don't try to make this about me."

She crossed her arms and glared at him.

"Oh, so what is this about dear husband?"

A silence during which he only studied her and then said something that took her breath away for a second.

"Guinevere, I know sometimes I can be hard to live with and I do apologize for that. I'm trying to change." her anger fell right away and she felt awful, wanted to reassure him of how much she loved him but he kept talking. "But please, try to understand me on this one. What you would say if I started confiding only in Mithian but refused to let you close to me?"

She froze.

He was right.

If Arthur had done that, she would have burnt the place to the ground...

(Probably with Mithian in it.)

So yeah,

She could understand his jealousy.

* * *

They were facing each other and both so shy suddenly.

"I am sorry about the texts." he said finally and she smiled softly.

"It's alright Merlin. No harm's done." she winked and he smiled back, getting lost in her emerald eyes.

"Look, Morgana..." he took a deep breath and she tilted her head. "I've been thinking about this situation of ours."

"And?" she put a strand of hair behind her ear.

(He wanted to do that, too.)

"And I think I need time to think about what I want. What I really want."

"I agree." she sighed, "And I guess you're about to tell me you need to do that on your own?"

He chuckled.

"Sometimes I forget how well you know me."

She smiled.

"We've been in each others lives for so long." she smiled wistfully and he too got lost in memories. And then she said, "I'll wait for you, you know."

"I was counting on it."

She smiled brightly and he left but then changed his mind, turned around and cupped her cheeks, kissing her. "See you soon."

She nodded, dazed by the kiss.

And as he walked away , Merlin wondered how the hell he would make a choice when it felt like he both loved them so much it hurt.

* * *

"You're right." she admitted.

Arthur's eyes widened.

"About?"

"I would have gone crazy if you had pushed me away for Mithian."

"Gwen-"

"No, that one is my fault. I apologize."

He sighed and took her hand again, laying a reverent kiss inside of her wrist.

"I love you. I don't want you to feel guilty, I just want you to confide in me. I want to be there for you, no matter what happens."

She smiled but her heart broke.

"Okay." she breathed, "But Arthur, you're not going to like what I have to say."

He shrugged.

"Together I believe we can overcome anything."

She smiled weakly.

And then started talking.

* * *

Freya was crying, driving home when suddenly she had a change of heart.

She needed to talk to Morgana.

She was not angry towards hers...

She just needed to see her.

So she turned around and drove towards the hotel Merlin's ex was staying.

* * *

Gwen had told Arthur everything.

The stalking at work.

The phone messages with an unknown number.

The threats Lancelot made to her and to Arthur's life.

And now she was awaiting her husband's reaction with fear.

Because she knew this face…

Arthur was angry.

She took his hand in hers and he jumped, blue eyes icy.

"I'm going to kill him." he hissed and she shivered.

"Arthur, you promised-"

"Guinevere! He thratened you! And me to hurt you! You really expect me to do nothing?"

"You said you wouldn't ! Arthur, please!" He got up and she got up too.

"He can't get away with it."

"He won't." she promised, "I'll go to the police station with you if you want to. But please, _please_" she begged him, "Don't go to him. I don't know what he could do."

Arthur looked at her and looked at her, breathing ragged.

She saw him took a deep shaking breath that he let out.

And then he tensely nodded.

"Okay. For you."

She smiled weakly and walked to him, cupping his cheeks and forcing him to look at her.

"Everything will work out, Arthur."

His anger faded away into tenderness as he studied her,

"My Guinevere. There isn't a thing I would no do for you. You know that, right?"

She nodded and he leant in, kissing away her fears.

"Everything will be alright." he repeated what she had just told him.

And it would.

Because he had a plan.


	12. Chapter 12

Arthur and Gwen receded,

"I love you, Arthur." he smiled and she cupped his cheek. "More and more every day that passed, and I didn't think it could be possible."

His eyes softened and he kissed her tenderly.

"You know I feel the same."

"I know." she smiled.

And then added,

"It does feel great to tell you about my problems. I feel like something has been lifted off my chest. It's a nice feeling."

Arthur chuckled slightly.

"That's the point. Now please, will you come to me with your issues?"

"I will." she kissed his lips once again. "I promise."

"Good." he smiled.

And then his phone rang and Arthur took it from his pocket, frowning when he saw who was calling him.

"Merlin?"

"Can I come over?"

And he sounded so tired, Arthur didn't even want to tease him.

"Are you all right?"

A sigh.

"I just need my friends."

"Come anytime, Merlin."

Gwen moved from where she was, cuddled against his chest.

She mouthed, asking if Merlin was all right but Arthur only frowned.

"Can I?"

"Merlin, you know you're always welcome here. You want to come for lunch?"

"I'll never miss an opportunity to see my favourite nephew. I am happy to see Gwen too. You, on the other hand…"

Arthur chuckled.

"Clotpole."

"Dollop head."

Gwen chuckled.

"You guys." she shook her head before stroking Arthur's chest.

* * *

Merlin arrived and when he came in to walk in the living room…

It felt like home.

He felt right away better.

"Uncle Merlin!" screamed Nicholas from where he was on his mother's lap.

The adults chuckled as Merlin caught Nick right as he was jumping in his arms.

"How are you, champ?"

"I want to show you my magic tricks! Can I?"

He smiled.

"I'll be happy to see that."

"You know, daddy always says he thinks you were a wizard in another lifetime."

Merlin glared at Arthur, whom only laughed.

"Does he, now?" Merlin raised an eyebrow. Even after more than two decades spent together, he still learnt things about his bestfriend.

"Of course I do!" exclaimed Arthur, "And I'm sure I'm right! Come one, Merlin. You know you can tell me anything. Those tricks you used to do when we were young… It can't be real."

Merlin smirked.

"Magician code. Can't say a word."

Nicholas laughed excitedly and then got out of his arms and ran to his room, searching for his coins.

"Hello, Gwen." Merlin said, kissing her cheek and she smiled.

"I'm glad to see you."

"Me too." he smiled back and then glared at his best friend, "Clotpole." to Arthur and this one groaned and slapped him on the back of the head lightly.

"Idiot."

Gwen rolled her eyes playfully and then Nicholas was back and they all listened to him.

* * *

Much later, Arthur and Nicholas were playing football outside, leaving Gwen with Merlin.

"What is it Merlin, I can see you're upset."

He sighed and looked down for a few seconds.

"There is nothing you can do for me, Gwen."

"Try me." she then raised an eyebrow, "I live with a Pendragon too, remember? Even married one."

He laughed at that.

"And you have my eternal admiration for it."

It was Gwen's turn to laugh.

"Come one, tell me."

"I am pretty sure I am in love with two women and I have absolutely no idea what to do with that."

Gwen took a deep breath.

"Ah."

"Yes."

A silence, and then...

"Look, maybe you love them both but not in the same way. One of them has to make your heart stop then beats so fast you feel dizzy each time you see her. One of them has to brighten your world so much you feel you could glow."

Merlin smiled softly.

"This is how you feel about Arthur, isn't it?"

She blushed.

"It is. Has been since the very moment we met and this is how I knew he was the only one for me."

"He is a very lucky man."

She smiled again and took his hand, squeezing it.

"And whoever you choose will be just as lucky."

He smiled back.

"Thanks, Gwen."

* * *

They were playing outside and Arthur loved this special moment with his son.

He was deprived of such from his own father and had sworn he wouldn't do the same mistakes with his children.

"Daddy?" started the boy and he looked so much like Guinevere suddenly that Arthur's heart melted.

"What is it, my boy?"

"I have a problem."

"_Oh._" Arthur tilted his head, "What is it?"

"I'm in love."

Nick sighed deeply and Arthur had to bit his lip not to laugh at how cute he actually was.

"You are? But that's a good news! What's her name?"

"Lucy."

"That's a beautiful name."

The boy nodded and then sat on the ground, leaving the ball beside him and looking as upset as a five years old could.

Arthur walked closer and sat by his side, before bringing his boy to his lap;

"What is troubling you?"

Nick snuggled a bit closer to his chest, like he used to do when he was just a baby.

"She doesn't like me." he whined.

"Did you ask her that?"

"No."

"Did someone tell you, then?"

"No."

"Then how do you know?"

The boy shrugged.

"I just do."

Arthur receded and looked at his son,

"Look son, I have a lesson for you. Ready?" Nick nodded. "You can't know until you try. Ask her for real."

"But what if she doesn't feel the same way?"

"And what if she does?" smiled Arthur.

A silence.

"What do I do?"

"Now, you have to court her."

The boy frowned.

"To what?"

Arthur chuckle.

"Make her see you like her. Talk to her, care about her day, offer her flowers. Open the door for her – women like that kind of things. Listen to what she has to say..."

Nick tilted his head.

"You do these things with mummy."

Arthur laughed.

"I do. I love your mother very much. And I try to always make sure she knows that. It's important."

Nick nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay. Thank you, daddy."

"Feeling better?"

Nicholas hummed happily and got up, taking back his ball like nothing had happened and Arthur laughed again, ruffled his hair and got up.

* * *

A few minutes later, they came back inside because Nick was thirsty.

"Mummy!" he ran to his mother and she ruffled his hair tenderly as he was clinging to her waist. "Daddy told me how to..." he looked at his father in question and Arthur laughed.

"To court a lady, Nick."

"Yep, how to court a lady!" resumed the boy.

Gwen laughed then,

But not as hard as Merlin did.

"_Hey!_" said indignantly Arthur but they were both laughing.

The blond then walked to his wife – slapped his friend on the head again in the way, and then cupped her cheeks and kissed her long enough for Nick to groan in disgust.

"Ew, you promised me you wouldn't do that again, daddy."

And then he was out, and Guinevere was blushing but she laughed.

"See, I did court you, didn't I?"and he seemed so proud of himself she rolled her eyes.

"But I was always yours, Arthur. So I am not so sure it counts as seducing..."

Merlin laughed loudly and Arthur found a pen nearby, turned around and threw it at him.

"OUCH!"

"Oh don't be such a baby, _Mer_lin."

* * *

The three friends were together again after lunch, for coffee.

Nicholas was in his room, relieved by the fact that he could try to court Lucy at school the next day.

"You know I am mad at you, right?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow, actually surprised.

"What did I do, this time?"

Merlin huffed.

"It's what you didn't do that's the problem."

"And what didn't I do, then?"

"You didn't stop me last night from making a fool out of myself by texts! I've texted Morgana _all night._ And you're my best friend, you're supposed to prevent that kind of things!"

And then…

Arthur blushed.

Actually _blushed_.

Oh,

Oh there was something juicy to know, there.

"What is happening?" asked Merlin, sensing something was up.

Gwen chuckled and Arthur threw her an imploring look.

"Please don't. I won't ever heart the end of it."

She laughed again.

"Oh please do." begged Merlin.

"Sorry, my love." she smirked before kissing Arthur's lips tenderly.

He groaned while she took her phone and unlocked it quickly, still smiling.

"The reason why Arthur didn't stop you was because he was doing pretty much the same."

And then she gave him her phone and Arthur buried his face in his hands, saying she was betraying him.

Gwen laughed.

**AP: I miss you, my love.**

**AP: I always miss you when you're not with me.**

**AP: New rule: you're not allowed to leave my side.**

**AP: Ever.**

**AP: You're so tiny you'd probably fit in my pocket.**

**AP: I really, really miss you.**

**AP: You're so beautiful, Guinevere. Do I tell you enough? **

**AP: Because you are.**

**AP: And I love you.**

**AP: I feel I should tell you that more often.**

**AP: New rule: Not an hour won't pass without me telling you that I love you.**

**GP: You're drunk, my love.**

**AP: Drunkenly in love.**

**GP: Haha that was smooth, Pendragon. ;)**

**AP: But it's true. What would I need alcohol when I've got you to be drunk of?**

**GP: Okay, I think you're good to come home. DON'T DRIVE.**

**AP: I love you, Guinevere.**

**AP: Oops, it hasn't been an hour.**

**AP: But I do.**

**AP: Love you, I mean.**

**GP: I love you, too. Be safe.  
**

And then Merlin laughed.

Really laughed,

God,

He had needed that.

He knew coming was a good idea.

"Oh this is priceless."

"Go to hell, _Mer_lin." muttered Arthur, but he was blushing still.

"This is… Wow, I have no words." he gave back her phone to Gwen still laughing. "I will never be able to un-see it… _New rule_: We'll talk about it at least once a month!" he said, making fun of his friend.

Arthur groaned loudly and Gwen tried to stifle a laugh.

"You betrayed me." pouted Arthur and she cupped his cheeks, tried to look serious.

"I did not, my love. It was an emergency, Merlin needed to be cheered up."

"And I am!" laughed his friend.

Arthur receded from his wife and glared at his friend, "And why don't _you_ show us what you wrote?"

"Hm." Merlin blushed.

Gwen laughed again.

"Come on, Merlin. Fair is fair."

He sighed deeply and then gave them his phone and a few seconds later, they were both laughing so hard Merlin wanted to take the phone back.

"I'm sure this was your idea." muttered Merlin and Arthur's eyes widened,

"I was about to say the same thing about you! This is so like your lovesick behavior!"

"Oh, because you're so not acting like that when you're around Gwen, then?"

"Shut up, Merlin." then he added, "Yours are worst than mine."

"That's absolutely not true!"

They started bickering over who had been the most ridiculous when Gwen stopped them both.

"You must have been quite the picture, both of you over your phones with your beers and texting the women you love." Laughter were taking her, "Asking the other advices and-" She was almost crying with laughter and Arthur took her in his arms, trying to stop her from talking but laughing too.

"Guine_vere_! Are you making fun of your husband?"

She looked up into his eyes, still laughing.

"I just wish I could have seen the both of you desperately trying to court your ladies!"

He faked a pout but his eyes were twinkling with mischief.

"Fine. Then I guess as you don't know how to appreciate me, I'll just sent those to another woman next time, then… They were certainly a few of them interested last night-"

She cut him, kissing him possessively and he chuckled against her lips before she receded and the jealousy in her eyes made him laugh.

She smirked,

"You're _mine_, Pendragon. You better not forget that."

He laughed, lost in her eyes.

"Never."

He pecked her lips again for good measures and they were so lost in their own bubble they didn't notice right away Merlin had frozen.

He couldn't hear them anymore.

Could barely see them at all.

It was something Gwen had said so innocently that had absolutely stopped his heart and his world from turning.

_You must have been quite the picture, both of you over your phones with your beers and _texting the women you love.

The woman they love.

Arthur loved Gwen, he had texted her.

Merlin had spent the night flirting with Morgana.

Morgana and no one else.

Could it be that easy in the end?

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

Morgana was on her room the next day, thinking about what had happened when she had opened the door of her room to find Freya there...

_"Morgana."_

_The woman's eyes widened._

_"Freya." then she cleared her throat. "Do you want to come in?"_

_"No." her eyes were sad and cold. "I just wanted to ask you why."_

_"Freya..."_

_"I thought we were friends."_

_Morgana looked down._

_She felt horrible._

_"We are. But it's Merlin. And I am sorry but I can't... I can't."_

_"But you can break our engagement?"_

_"Don't do that." whispered Morgana. "Please."_

_"No." and Freya's voice broke. "You, don't do that. Leave us be. Please. You had your chance Morgana-"_

_"But Merlin deserves to know he has a choice."_

_A tear rolled down Freya's cheek._

_"You're not going to back down, are you?"_

_Morgana took a deep breath and their eyes met._

_"I am sorry, Freya. But no. Not this time."_

_A silence._

_"I thought you were a better person than that."_

_"Then you were wrong."_

_The two women studied each other. _

_"I won't give up and let you take him back from me."_

_Morgana sighed, _

_"As I said before, Merlin deserves to know he has options."_

_Freya knew she was about to broke down._

_She really thought she could convince Morgana to let go of Merlin..._

_But now?_

_Now she knew she had lost the love of his life._

* * *

Arthur and Guinevere were happier than ever.

He walked to the living room and kissed her cheek tenderly,

"We're going, love."

"Won't you rather I get him to school?"

Arthur put his arms around her waist and she smiled, her heart beating so fast in her chest.

"He specifically asked for me to do it, today."

"Oh." she laughed and shook her head tenderly, "Boys' talk, I gather?"

"Indeed, my love."

He leant in, stealing a kiss from her.

And another.

And another.

"Stop it, or I'll never let you go to work." she said, voice husky suddenly and her hands grasped his shirt.

Arthur hummed, and leant in kissing her more deeply.

"Maybe I could call in sick..."

She laughed.

"Ew, Ew, Ew!" screamed Nicholas with his schoolbag on him. "You promised you wouldn't do that!"

Arthur laughed and pecked her lips again.

"Sorry, my boy." and then to his wife, "I love you. Have a good day, my love."

She smiled, cupped his cheeks tenderly.

"Love you too."

And then she receded from him and hugged her son tightly.

"I love you, sweetheart. Have an amazing day."

"Love you too, mummy!"

And then they were leaving together, happily holding hands and Nick jumping up and down beside his father.

Gwen's eyes didn't leave them until they were gone for good.

She felt so grateful for her family.

* * *

"Daddy, I want to sing!"

Arthur chuckled, happier than he had been in days.

"What do you want to sing, my boy?

"Hmm... I want to sing Imagine Dragons!"

Arthur laughed, it was his son's favourite bands.

He took the CD and then pushed play...

"Ready?"

"Yep!"

And then the music started and father and son enjoyed some bonding time.

* * *

Merlin was on the hospital for his shift when he looked up and ran into Freya.

She froze.

"Hi." he smiled,

She smiled sadly only for two seconds.

"Hello, Merlin."

And then she was leaving.

And he wished he could make her pain go away.

But he had all night to think about it...

And the night before he had a dream about his wedding day.

And the woman waiting for him at the end of the aisle?

Her bright emerald eyes and matching bright smile could belong to only one person.

He sighed and forced himself to go about his day.

* * *

It was a normal day in perspective.

Until it wasn't anymore.

* * *

Gwen was enjoying some time alone in a quiet house when her phone rang.

She took it, thinking it to be Arthur even if he had left 20 minutes ago, and didn't look the caller ID.

"Already missing me, my love?" she said in a sultry voice and the dark chuckle she got in return froze her blood.

"How touching."

"Lancelot."

"This is how you talk to him, then?"

"This isn't any of your business." she told him coldly.

Because she felt so strong, now that she had told Arthur about everything.

Together, they could overcome anything.

Even Lancelot and his threats.

"You are both disgusting."

"Stop harassing me."

"And you shouldn't get to be this happy, not after what you put me through."

She froze, something in his voice...

"_Lance_." she tried, "What don't you find yourself a good lady to build a family with?"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!" he screamed and she jumped. "And that's all because of you and Arthur Pendragon." there was so much venom in his voice... "But I've got a plan and you, my dear, are going to break his heart and yours in the mean time."

"Never." she said right away. "Do you hear me? Never. Now, you're gonna stop or I'll go see the police and Arthur will come with me. You don't stand a chance."

Lancelot laughed.

Again.

"You're going to do exactly what I tell you to. Break his heart slowly and painfully. I want you both to suffer the way I suffered and still do. You ruined my life, it's time for you to pay."

"No." she said, standing her ground. "No I am not."

"You will do as I ask. Because trust me when you see the consequences your decision can have..."

She froze.

"What are you talking about?"

"You'll see soon enough."

"There is nothing you can say. Arthur knows about everything."

Lancelot laughed.

"Oh my sweet, sweet Gwen."

* * *

Arthur was just round the corner of his son's school, whistling happily and chuckling when Nicholas tried to do so but couldn't.

But then...

It all happened so fast.

A car.

Out of _nowhere_.

Nick's scream.

Arthur's only thought was that his precious son was in the car.

And then nothing.

* * *

Gwen's phone biped, letting her know she had another call.

She frowned when she didn't recognize who was calling her.

"You should take that." only said Lancelot and she frowned again.

"What?"

"You should take it."

"How do you know?"

He chuckled and she felt ill.

Something was wrong.

Something was terribly wrong.

"Let's just say... This time is a warning, Guinevere. You really should take this call and then, I think you'll do whatever I ask you to."

"What did you do?" she breathed and he laughed again.

"Answer the call, dear. I'll call you back in a few days. We'll talk, then."

And then he closed the call.

With trembling hands, she took the other call.

"Yes?"

"Mrs Guinevere Pendragon?" asked a voice she didn't know.

"It's me."

"This is Camelot Hospital. You're listed as Mr Arthur Pendragon's emergency contact, is it correct?"

The world was turning or was she falling down?

She could see a smiling Arthur leaving her this very morning with a very happy Nicholas holding his hand.

Her husband.

Her son.

"Yes, it's correct."

Oh please.

Everything but not that.

And then the woman said the one thing that crumbled Gwen's world in seconds.

"I am sorry Mrs Pendragon, there's been an accident."


	14. Chapter 14

Merlin was minding his own business in the hospital when he stopped in his tracks.

"I want to see my daddy."

He knew that voice.

"You can't, now."

"But I want to see my Daddy!"

And now he was sure.

So sure.

But it couldn't be...

Panicked, Merlin almost ran to the room from which came that child voice he knew all too well and sure enough...

"Nicholas?" he breathed and the boy turned around, tears rolling down his cheeks and pale as death.

"UNCLE MERLIN!" he screamed and ran to him.

Merlin opened his arms and hugged the boy against him, trying to calm him a bit.

"What are you doing here?"

"Daddy..." Nick was sobbing, making understanding him complicated. "Daddy is injured, Uncle Merlin and she doesn't want to let me see him!" he pointed at the nurse who looked sad.

"I can't, Nicholas."

"But I want to see my Daddy!"

"What happened?" he asked the nurse, voice breaking but he tried to stay professional.

"A car accident a few roads from here. One car crashed into the other from the front passenger side. The child was not hurt at all, a true miracle. Maybe because he was sat behind the driver and the car didn't actually crash into him."

Merlin swallowed.

He was so afraid to ask, his heart was beating in his head.

"And the driver?"

The nurse shook her head sadly.

"Unconscious when emergencies got there. He was hurt pretty badly from what I heart but I don't know much, they've taken him right away and I was asked to stay here until the boy's mum got there."

Merlin was sure his heart wasn't beating anymore.

Arthur.

His bestfriend.

His brother from another mother.

No.

No.

He had a wife, he had a child, he had a life.

It wasn't fair.

But Merlin was a doctor, he knew...

Life wasn't fair.

"I have to go see him." he said then but Nicholas tightened his hold on him.

"Don't leave me here, Uncle Merlin." he breathed, terrified.

"I have to go help your daddy."

"_Please_." and another sob took him.

Merlin looked at his nephew and his heart broke for him.

He was only five, had witnessed a serious car accident and was left without anyone he knew and trusted.

And then he knew what to do.

"Go search for Freya." he asked the nurse and she nodded, knowing who she was.

A few minutes there and Merlin tried his best to comfort Nicholas who was snuggling against him like Merlin could protect him from what was happening.

If only he knew.

At this moment, Freya arrived and her eyes widened when she saw them.

And Merlin knew.

She would act like he did, because the priority wasn't them anymore.

It was Nicholas and whatever was happening to Arthur.

"Could you stay with Auntie Freya?" asked Merlin and the boy looked up, and then nodded and ran to the woman.

"I'm scared, Auntie Freya." he breathed and the woman hugged him tightly against her.

"I know. I'm here."

"I don't want daddy to die."

She closed her eyes and ran her fingers through his soft curls.

"I know. He won't."

Her eyes met Merlin's.

Because she knew as well as he did,

She couldn't promise him that.

* * *

Gwen's hands were shaking so much she couldn't drive.

Tears were rolling down her cheeks because even if she begged the person on the phone, she didn't agree to give her information about her family.

Were they alright?

(Were they alive?)

She couldn't live without them.

No.

Without either of them.

They were her whole life.

Please.

Oh please.

She had been through that before.

With her parents.

She couldn't go through that again.

She wouldn't survive it.

Not this time.

She was supposed to spend her life with them.

Both of them.

They had been so happy on the morning...

They couldn't be-

No.

They couldn't be.

Before she left, she had taken two seconds to call Morgana and let her know what was going on.

Because she deserved to know in case-

No.

Everything would work out.

She had to believe that.

She had to.

(Otherwise she would crumble entirely.)

* * *

Morgana was crying, driving way over the speed limit.

But she couldn't care.

Not Arthur.

Not her brother.

She couldn't lose him.

It wasn't possible.

She refused to.

And Nicholas...

Her darling nephew.

So young.

No.

No.

No!

She screamed, hitting her wheel.

NO.

She lived right beside the hospital and arrived quickly.

After asking where was Nicholas, she ran to the room and stopped when she saw her precious nephew in one piece, without even one scratch on him.

"Oh my God." she breathed, voice breaking and the boy turned around.

His blue eyes ( so much like Arthur's) widened and he escaped Freya's hold to run into her arms.

"Auntie Morgana!" she opened the arms and hugged him so tightly against her she was afraid for a moment she might hurt him.

"Oh thank God, you're alright."

Her voice broke again.

More tears fell.

"I am, but daddy is hurt."

Her heart stopped.

And then, because she needed that, she hugged him again and he hugged her back.

"Is he really alright?" she asked Freya,

"He is. We've done all the exams we could think of. It's a miracle but he is perfectly healthy."

"Oh my sweet boy." breathed Morgana kissing his curls again and again. And then she asked the question that was petrifying her. "And Arthur?"

Freya smiled sadly, so very pale.

"Merlin is there, right now. I do not know more."

Morgana hugged Nicholas again.

"Merlin will save him. I trust him."

She had to believe that.

She really, really had to.

* * *

Merlin had taken charges of the operation on Arthur.

He was the one to have to try and save him.

It was his job.

And no one else's.

His injuries weren't life-threatening, or at least didn't appear to. But he had a lot of internal damages who could very well become so, so they needed to act fast.

"We're ready, doc." the nurses said and he leant into his best friend, whispering.

"Hold on, Clotpole. _Please_." And then got up. "Let's do this."

* * *

Gwen finally arrived to the hospital and ran to the room she was told to go.

"Nicholas!" she exclaimed and the boy had never jumped so quickly, eyes wide and comforted in the way he hadn't been since he got there.

"MUMMY!"

He ran to her and she hugged him tightly against him, before wiping his tears.

"Oh my boy..."

"Daddy was hurt" he sobbed and Gwen was crying too. "And I was so scared! The car came and-"

"It's alright, my love." she breathed, hugging him again and he went willingly. "I'm here, now. Nothing bad can come to you, I promise."

The boy nodded and snuggled in the warm embrace of his mother.

"I love you, mummy."

She bit her lip to stop the sob.

She had to stay strong.

For Nick.

"I love you too, baby."

And then, from the ground she looked up, eyes so scared that it took Morgana's breath away.

"Arthur?" Gwen only asked, voice breaking.

Where was her husband?

"He is being operated on." answered Freya. "We do not know more at the moment."

Gwen fall on the ground completely from where she was kneeling, eyes closing in silent sobs as she hugged her son close to her chest.

Her heart stopped.

She would have entirely crumbled down if not for her son.

She had to stay strong for her family.

They needed her.

* * *

_**HOURS LATER** _

On the waiting room were Freya, Morgana, Gwen and Nicholas ( Gwen had offered him to go home to sleep with Morgana but the boy had been adamant to wait for his father and Gwen hadn't had the heart to refuse him).

Nicholas was asleep on one of the biggest chair, Gwen stroking his hair softly.

None of the women were talking.

Too much was at stakes.

And then...

Merlin arrived.

He looked exhausted and pale.

But he was there.

They all got up and Gwen walked to him, a prayer in her eyes we would be blind not to see.

"Tell me." she only said, bracing herself.

A silence.

And then Merlin smiled softly,

"He'll be okay." he breathed out, a tear escaping his eyes.

And then...

Guinevere felt her legs giving up on her.


	15. Chapter 15

**3 DAYS LATER**

Gwen had spent her days at the hospital in Arthur's room, waiting for him to wake up.

She had refused to move.

Plain and simple.

He needed her right now and she would be there for him.

She was his wife,

For better and for worst,

In sickness or in health.

Forever.

Nicholas had come home with Morgana and was visiting his father every day for an hour, Gwen didn't want him more upset and traumatized that he already was.

She had also signed him up with a child psychiatrist here at the hospital and it was helping with his nightmares,

Her poor son.

Gwen then turned back to her husbans,

"You're gonna be alright, my love." she whispered, brushing some hair away from his forehead. "I promise."

She then took his hand and kissed it tenderly, before laying it on her cheek.

"How is he feeling?" a voice cut her thoughts and she jumped from where she was.

"Still nothing." then she turned the head and looked at her friend. "Why isn't he waking up, Merlin? I need him to wake up." her voice broke.

Merlin sighed sadly and walked to her, squeezing her shoulder tenderly.

"I miss him too, you know." he breathed and she looked up, found him teary.

And he did,

It was awful not being able to speak with him when he felt like Arthur had been there all of his life.

"I know." whispered Gwen.

Then, he took a deep breath, seeing the despair of his friend.

Gwen needed the doctor in him, not Arthur's best friend.

He could do that.

For her,

For Arthur,

For Nicholas.

So he took a deep breath,

"These things can take some time." he said softly. "But there is no reason for him not to wake up. Have patience, Gwen."

A tear rolled down the woman's cheek.

"He is the love of my life, Merlin. My soulmate. If anything were to happen to him..." she couldn't even finish her sentence.

"I know."

Merlin got out of the room, more shaken up that what he would have liked to admit.

Seeing Gwen in such a state was complicated Arthur not wking up was torture for all of them.

"Merlin?"

He froze and turned around slowly, meeting wih the smile which both stopped and accelereated the beating of his heart at the same time.

**3 DAYS BEFORE**

_Merlin felt like he could breathe again after telling everyone the news that Artthur would live. _

_Gwen had been so relieved she had almost fainted and she was now glued to Arthur's side in his room and Merlin doubted they would be able to get her to leave it, even if they wanted to._

_Good._

_He was about to go lie down for a bit when something stopped him in his tracks._

_Sobs._

_He walked in and his heart broke when he saw _her_, hugging herself and crying like it was something to be ashamed of._

_"Morgana?" he called softly and she jumped, her eyes widened and she hurried to wipe her tears and tried to flee._

_But he caught her arm. _

_"Please don't be ashamed to cry." he breathed. "Not in front of me. Never in front of me." _

_She scoffed and tried to escape from his hold._

_"Let me go, Merlin. I'm fine. We're not even supposed to talk to each other."_

_This time, he was the one to scoff._

_And then he brought her into his arms, hugging her tightly against him. _

_"I've almost lost my best friend in the whole world." he breathed, voice breaking suddenly. "I can't bear to be apart from you today."_

_And after a few seconds..._

_She hugged him back._

**BACK TO PRESENT. **

She smiled shyly, put a strand of hair back behind her ear.

"How are you?" he asked, taking a step closer to her.

"I've been better." she admitted, "You?"

"Same."

They got lost on each other for a few seconds and he took another step to her, like hypnotized.

"He will wake up, you know."

Morgana looked down,

God he needed to comfort her.

He needed to see her smile again.

He'd give anything for that.

"I..." her voice broke. "I'm scared. I can't imagine a life without my brother... I can't Merlin. It would kill me."

Merlin took the last step separating them and cupped her chin, making her look at him.

"He will wake up. Trust me."

She smiled and it lit something in his heart.

But then...

"Uncle Merlin!"

They receded, the charm broken and Merlin smiled, hugging his nephew.

"How are you, champ?"

"Fine but I miss my Daddy."

Merlin ruffled his hair,

"Your daddy is strong, he will wake up soon." His eyes met Morgana's, "Trust me."

* * *

Guinevere was still in the room when she heard footsteps and knew who was coming before she even saw him.

"Mama!" screamed the boy and he ran to her, hugging her tightly. "I miss you so much!"

"I know, my love." she breathed, "I am sorry, I can't leave Daddy alone."

Nicholas nodded, and then he receded and went hugging his father.

"Hello Daddy, I miss you too. A lot." and then he took something from his bag pack and Gwen's heart broke. "It's a drawing for you. Please wake up, Daddy."

Her heart broke for their son.

He deserved better than that.

Better than a father unconscious on a hospital bed,

And better than a mother always away at the hospital.

She got up and hugged him tightly against her.

"You're so brave, Nick. Dad and I are so proud of you."

The boy beamed and for the first time in days she had a feeling she did something right.

* * *

Hours later, Guinevere was asleep by Arthur's side when her phone rang.

She frowned, opened her eyes and took the call but not before she checked on Arthur first.

Still nothing.

"Yes?" she said, voice hoarse.

Gwen looked at the clock and saw it was 11pm.

"So, do you believe me now?"

Her heart stopped in her chest.

"Lancelot?"

He chuckled.

"You didn't answer. Do you believe me, now?"

And then she felt like she was about to throw up, her legs shook and she had to sit down while her vision was blurry.

"Wait..."

"There she goes."

"No."

"I did warn you."

"It's not possible..."

"But it is."

"What did you do?!" she shouted and he chuckled again.

"Only a warning for this time, Gwen. But now you know I have the means to meet my words."

"You're crazy!" she screamed, voice shaking. "We are talking _murder_, Lancelot! You could go to jail for a very, very long time!" he chuckled, "We have a son! How can you do that to another human being?! Arthur did nothing to you!"

"HE STOLE MY GIRL!" he shouted and she jumped.

"Five years ago!" she ran a desperate hand through her hair. "You can't be serious right now, I will go to the police immediately."

He laughed.

"Accidents happen, my dear. You have no proof."

"You're mad!" and she had no words left, this couldn't be happening. "My son was in the car! He is nothing but an innocent child! Lancelot, he is 5 for God's sake!"

A silence.

She thought she finally had him.

"There are casualties in war."

"Are you listening to yourself right now? There is no war, Lancelot!"

He cleared his throat.

"I'll call you later. Now that you know I am not joking."

"I'll go to the police!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Are you threatening me?"

A silence.

"I did, that's why your husband in in a hospital. That was me threatening you, don't push me Gwen."

"You're insane! I won't listen to you, ever! "

Another silence.

"I'll call you. We'll talk then."

And then he hang up.

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't.

Could it be?

Could it really be?

She was starting to hyperventilating.

And then..

"Guine_vere_?" a soft and hoarse voice whispered and her heart started beating so fast she felt dizzy.

And she turned around softly,

To find the blue eyes of the love of her life staring at her.


	16. Chapter 16

Gwen’s heart stopped.

“Arthur…” her voice broke.

And then…

Then she lost the control she barely had over herself.

And ran to him.

“_Oh my God._” her voice broke and he smiled tiredly, she walked to the edge of the bed and wanted nothing more than hugging him so hard against her but he seemed so tired…

So instead, she cupped his cheeks and he smiled again.

He knew her too well for her own good, sometimes.

“Please, please I need you in my arms right now.”

She smiled and cried at the same time.

“Arthur, you’re still-”

“Guine_vere_.”

A sob escaped her at the sound of something she thought she might never hear again.

So she let him took her in her arms and she listened to his heartbeat before she receded slightly and their eyes locked,

“You’re here.” she breathed and he smiled that crooked smile she had fallen in love with instantly.

“Let me prove it to you…” he smirked and then leant in before he finally

_Finally_

Kissed her.

The rest of the world would just have to wait for now.

* * *

Merlin was running in the corridors, Freya behind him.

Arthur was awake.

He was awake.

When Freya had told him he had been so relieved her had hugged her and after a few seconds, she had hugged him back.

But he couldn’t think about that right now.

Arthur was alive.

Finally, he opened the door to his room and stopped, breathing heavily.

Arthur was awake, Guinevere was holding his hand tightly against her face and when they both saw him, she smiled softly, let him go and receded.

Arthur smiled.

“You’re such a dollop head.” only said Merlin and Arthur laughed. “Almost dying only to get our attention.”

“Well you know me _Mer_lin, always the Drama Queen.”

Merlin couldn’t help the laugh out of him.

“Oh boys…” breathed Gwen, tears shining in her eyes.

And then Merlin walked to his best friend and hugged him tightly, Arthur hugged back.

Nothing more needed to be said.

* * *

Morgana came in, almost shyly and tears were shining in her eyes, her eyes were red and rimmed and she was trying to choked on sobs.

Merlin wanted to go to her and kiss her, or hold her, or do something.

“Oh Morgana…” breathed Arthur.

It was all that it took.

She let out a loud soub and walked to him, hugging him and he stroked her hair tenderly, murmuring that he was here, and he was fine.

* * *

And then it was Nicholas’ turn and Arthur couldn’t wait to reunite with his son.

He was his whole life.

“DADDY!!” screamed a boy and he came in, hopped on the bed and hugged him.

Arthur hugged back and closed his eyes tightly, tears pricking at the back of it.

Nick had been in the car.

He could have been hurt.

But he was there,

Alive and well.

He hugged him tighter, a tear rolling down his cheek.

“I knew you’d be alright, daddy.” whispered Nicholas and Arthur cleared his throat.

“And I knew you’d be waiting for me.”

This time,

Nick hugged him tighter.

* * *

Arthur was with Nicholas and Gwen was outside getting some air after an eventful day.

She was so grateful her family was whole again.

And then her phone rang.

And her blood froze.

She considered not answering it but then looked back at the hospital where her husband was because once before she had not listened to Lancelot’s threats.

She couldn’t risk Arthur.

He was her whole life.

So she took the call.

“What do you want?”

He chuckled.

“I heard Arthur was alive, I thought congratulations were in order.”

“Fuck off, Lancelot.” she breathed.

And how the hell did he know?

And when her life had become the plot of a drama show?

He laughed.

“You’ve thought about what I asked you?”

She took a deep breath.

“It wouldn’t work. Arthur knows me too well.”

Lancelot laughed again.

“I know Arthur’s weekness and how to exploit them.”

She froze.

“You don’t know anything about us.”

He laughed again.

“I’ll send you instructions to follow week by week.”

“And if I refuse?”

“You really want to be your husband’s life? Your _son’s_ life?You got lucky once, Gwen… Do you really believe such luck can happen again?”

Her heart fall at the bottom of her chest.

She was trapped.

“Didn’t think so.” he laughed. “Talk to you soon.”

And then he hang up.

Guinevere’s legs gave up on her and she was let on the sidewalk, tears rolling down her cheeks.

* * *

She went back in his room and Arthur was still with Nick, who was cuddled against his side.

“I am so happy you’re better, daddy. I have so much thing to tell you!” smiled the boy and Arthur kissed his curly hair.

“So _many_ things, my boy.” corrected Arthur tenderly.

The boy giggled and then his eyes widened,

“Mummy!”

Arthur turned around and gave her a bright and happy smile.

God, she loved him.

She smiled back and he frowned, probably saw something was wrong and held her his hand.

She took it and he brought her closer until she snuggled against his other side and closed her eyes, listening to his strong heartbeat.

“_This._” breathed Arthur, holding both of them close. “This is the only thing I need in my life. You two. The rest of the world can collapse and I wouldn’t care, as long as I have my wife and my son by my side.”

Gwen tried to choke the sob and she nuzzled his chest.

“Me too.” her voice broke. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” she kissed his clothed chest, voice breaking. “Nothing.”

* * *

Freya was wiping her eyes when he saw her.

She smiled sadly.

“Hi.”

“Hi.” he smiled, sitting by her side. “Are you alright?”

She took a deep shaky breath.

“It’s been some kind of a day.”

Merlin chuckled.

“I would say so.”

She chuckled too.

“I miss you.” she breathed and he looked down,

“Me too.”

A small silence settled.

And she was so perfectly sure of her feelings, so calm and so peaceful…

She was everything Morgana wasn’t.

And yet…

“I think we need to talk.” he said softly and when she looked up, he knew she already knew what he was about to say.

* * *

He finally found her in front of a vending machine, looking frustrated and he laughed slightly.

Morgana turned around and raised an eyebrow.

“Are you making fun of me?”

He shrugged innocently and walked closer to her.

“How are you feeling?” he asked and she took a deep breath, facing him.

“So incredibly grateful my brother is safe and sound.” she smiled and God, she really had the most beautiful of smiles. “You?”

“Same.”

And then nothing.

Merlin was lost on her.

“Merlin?” she asked soflty and he shook his head, his heart beating so loud it was preventing him from thinking.

“I’ve talked with Freya.” he finally said and she tensed.

“Oh.”

Another silence.

“And?” she asked and now he could see she was worried, fidgeting even.

He studied her, tilting his head slightly.

“I think you know, actually.” she frowned. “But first, I have to ask you something.” She nodded and he took a step closer to her. “Did you mean everything that you said to me?”

Her eyes widened and she blushed.

“Every word.”

“Good.” he took another step. “Do you really want to be with me? For real this time?”

“You know I do.” she whispered.

Their eyes were locked on each other.

“Okay.” he murmured, taking another step to her so that they were face to face now. “You promise you’re not gonna run away the moment things get real?”

She blinked and this time took a step closer to him and they were so, so close he had trouble focusing.

“Not this time.” she answered and she seemed so sure of herself.

He smiled and she smiled, too.

And then his hand raised and he cupped her cheek tenderly, his heart skipped a beat when she leant into it, closing her eyes slightly.

“It’s you, Morgana.” he murmured tenderly and her eyes opened, tears shining in them suddenly. “It’s always been you.” he shrugged like he was helpless.

And he was.

She opened the mouth, closed it.

Again.

And again.

And then she took the inch separating them and she kissed him.

Finally.


	17. Chapter 17

_ **A few weeks later.** _

Morgana was looking at Merlin, still unable to believe it.

He was there.

They were together.

She smiled to herself, bit her lip and raised her hand, stroking his cheek tenderly.

He smiled and one of his hand left the cover to cover hers, he took it and kissed it before laying it on his beating heart.

“Good morning.” he murmured and she smiled again,

His eyes opened,

“Hey.” she whispered and brought herself closer to him.

It all still felt so unreal.

Being with him, in bed like that.

God, it was ridiculous how much she was in love with him.

“What are you thinking?” he asked and he let go of her hand to play with her hair and if she could have purred, she would have.

“You. Me. Us.” she breathed and he leant in, kissed her lips tenderly and she hummed happily.

He smiled and cupped her cheek,

“You are so beautiful.”

She blushed and chuckled, hiding her face in the pillow.

He smiled but then his smile fell out.

“What is it?”

He sighed and took her hand again, laying another kiss on it.

“Merlin?” she asked again.

“You know I want to be with you more than anything, right?”

She smiled,

“Yes, I do.”

“But I do have one favor to ask you.”

“Anything.”

“For now… For now I’d like us to remain a secret.” she frowned slightly, “I mean, Arthur and Gwen can obviously be told, but… I don’t want to hurt Freya. I’m sure she suspects it already, but we just broke off our engagement and it doesn’t seem fair to hurt her more than I already did.”

Morgana smiled sadly and cupped his cheek.

“Of course.” she breathed and he smiled, “Anything. I just want to be with you Merlin. The rest doesn’t matter to me.”

His smile could have lit up the whole room.

* * *

Guinevere was fussing around, getting the house ready for Arthur’s return.

She couldn’t be happier.

Arthur would be back home today.

She smiled to herself, stroking her wedding ring.

He was lucky to be alive, they both knew it, had been doing his re education and was almost as good as new.

Now all he needed to do was rest for a few weeks and everything would be alright again.

Gwen smiled again,

She would take care of him.

And then she stopped as a thought came in her mind,

Lancelot had not reached her and she had tried to forget about it.

Maybe he had a change of heart.

Maybe she had got through to him.

She really didn’t want to think about it.

Arthur was back.

Their family was whole again. 

And that was all that mattered to her.

* * *

“Are you going to tell me why you seem so happy?” asked Arthur, tilting his head.

Merlin blushed.

“I’m just happy you’re getting out of here alive and well.”

Arthur laughed out loud and Merlin winced.

His best friend knew him too well.

“Okay, Merlin. If you say so…”

The dark-haired man turned around,

“I am happy you’re getting out. I am.”

Arthur smirked.

“Oh I know that.” and then, “But I also know that’s not what got you glowing like that.”

“Nothing.”

He had said too quickly.

Much too quickly.

Arthur got up, and walked to him.

“You know… Now that I _do_ think about it… I’ve seen you like this before.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Years ago.”

“Nope.”

“If I recall correctly-”

“No you don’t.”

“It was someone in particular…”

Merlin stopped and everything was said.

Arthur’s eyes widened happily and he gasped,

“Oh my God! It _is_ Morgana!”

Merlin groaned and ran a hand through his face.

“Fine. You win.” and then, “Yes. It does. We…” he took a deep breath, “We’re back together.”

A silence.

And a longer one.

Merlin was actually getting worried.

He was about to add something when Arthur walked to him and hugged him briefly.

Nothing more needed to be said.

* * *

“Mummy! Faster!!”

Guinevere laughed,

“Easy Nick, we’ll be here in no time.”

“But daddy is waiting for us!”

“Yep, but he is with Uncle Merlin so everything is alright.”

They finally arrived at the hospital and she smiled when she glimpsed her husband at the entrance talking and laughing with Merlin.

Her heart roared in her chest.

This was a sight she had been so afraid she wouldn’t see again.

She stopped the car and got Nick out.

When they were a few feet away, Arthur glimpsed them and the most beautiful smile ever lit up his face as Nicholas let go of her hand and ran to him.

“Nick careful! Your father is still-”

But Arthur didn’t listen either and he walked to his son and picked him up under his delighted chuckles, hugging him tight.

Then Arthur smirked at his wife and she rolled her eyes fondly at him.

“Arthur, you’re still weak.”

He shrugged and smirked again.

So she turned to Merlin and raised an eyebrow,

“A little help, here?”

But the doctor only shrugged,

“I’ve given up a long time ago, sorry.”

Arthur laughed.

And it was still the most beautiful sound she had ever heard.

* * *

They settled Nick in the car and she was about to climb in when Arthur caught her hand and brought her to him.

She smiled and her hands found their way on his chest,

“Wait a minute.” he breathed, his crooked smile on.

She bit her lips, trying to hold back her smile.

“What do you want, Mr Pendragon?”

His eyes darkened and fall on her lips.

“Don’t say that…”

“What? Mr Pendragon?”

He groaned slightly and one of his hands fall on the bottom of her back, bringing her even closer to him.

“You know what that does to me." he leant closer, "And it's been _weeks_, Guinevere..."

She smirked and leant in whispering in his ear.

“_Mr Pendragon_.”

She receded and his eyes were dark blue, he opened the mouth to talk but hurried knocks on the door startled them and they both jumped, finding a very impatient Nicholas.

She blushed, Arthur laughed and they got in the car.

“Sorry, my boy.” said Arthur and Nicholas rolled his eyes.

“I stopped you before you started kissing each other.” and then he sighed loudly.

This time, Gwen laughed.

Arthur took her hand and kissed it tenderly, when their eyes met there was so much love and affection in his that she lost her breath for a few seconds.

Everything was finally perfect again.

What she failed to see was the dark-haired man looking at them from far away on the parking lot...

* * *

Morgana was waiting for Merlin outside the hospital the time for him to finish his shift.

She smiled because finally, everything was right.

She had gone to Arthur’s first, made sure he was alright and he was, was alive and well.

Nothing could have made her happier.

And now she was waiting for the love of her life,

She smiled again.

The love of her life.

She shook her head.

For so long she had believed she wasn’t cut out for love…

But she was.

She really was.

“Morgana?” came a voice and she froze.

And turned around.

“Freya.”

The two woman stood facing each other and it was so very obvious to Morgana that Freya was heartbroken.

She didn’t know what to say to her.

“Freya, I-”

“Please, don’t.” said the other woman calmly. “I didn’t come for that. I just have things I have to let out of my chest.”

Morgana took a deep breath.

She could take it.

Could take the hatred.

So she tried a smile.

“Go.”

Freya took a deep breath and wiped her face tiredly.

“I’ve always known that I would lose him if you ever decided to come back.” she said and Morgana foze.

“What?”

This, she had not expected.

“I’ve always known he loved you more than he loved me.”

“Freya-”

“And that’s okay.” her voice broke. “At least with time, it will be okay.”

Another silence.

“I’m sorry.”

Freya nodded.

“I just want him to be happy.” she said in a murmur and then looked up and took another deep breath, “Please don’t hurt him again.”

And then she was gone.

And Morgana was more shaken up than she would have cared to admit.

* * *

Nicholas was asleep, Arthur and Guinevere were now in their room, cuddled together on their bed.

“I still can’t believe you’re really here.” she breathed, stroking his chest and he smiled sadly and took her hand to lay it on his beating heart.

“I am.”

She looked up and their eyes locked.

Blue in brown.

“Arthur, I was so afraid…”

“Gwen-”

“I thought-”

He cut her, kissing her deeply and a surprised moan escaped her before she kissed him back.

“Don’t think about it anymore.”

“It’s not that simple.” she breathed, nuzzling his nose.

He smirked and she raised an eyebrow.

“What is on your mind, husband?”

He chuckled and then kissed her lips again, before his kisses slid on her jaw, then her neck…

“Arthur…”

“Hmm?” he hummed innocently and she cupped the back of his head, not stopping him.

“You’re still recovering.”

He stopped kissing her and receded a bit, before suddenly he was hovering over her and she let him do it.

(She had missed him too after all.)

“It’s been weeks, Guinevere.” he breathed, kissing her. “And I’m fine.” another kiss. “And I want to be with my wife.” Another. This time she cupped his cheeks and deepened the kiss. “And I’m fine.” he said again and she chuckled.

Their eyes locked, his hand found its way under her shirt and she was done for.

“I’ve missed you, too.” she only answered and he smiled brightly when he realized he had won. So she added to tease him, "Mr Pendragon..."

And then neither of them was laughing anymore for quite some time.

* * *

Guinevere couldn’t sleep.

She couldn’t.

She looked at Arthur, one of his arm still around her as he slept and smiled.

She bit her lip, kissed his naked shoulder and he murmured something that she couldn’t quite understand, making her chuckle fondly.

And then she got up, put on his shirt which was on the floor and went make herself a cup of tea.

When she came back he was still asleep, but her phone was lit up.

She frowned.

And then her heart fell on the bottom of her chest.

It was past 3am.

No one could want to reach her.

No one but…

With very trembling hands, she took her phone and unlocked it.

And sure enough…

**Lancelot – Ready to play, Gwen? **


End file.
